{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Share the love, not the germs please

I’ve always dreaded Mass in the winter.  I naturally tend to feel overwhelmed in crowds but then add the coughing and sneezing that tags along with cold months and I’m a mental mess before service begins.  I try to choose our seats wisely, but there’s always a good chance that someone around us spends a good part of the Mass hacking away.  I’m like a beacon, calling the sick.  Or maybe I’m just hypersensitive to all the bodily noises around me (much more likely).  Either way, I hate that the one place I seek peace (and the one place peace probably actually exists) is the one place that peace alludes me…completely.  I spend the hour, suffering, wondering what funk we’re collecting this week.

Last winter, I read and re-posted a short article where the author begged her readers, “please don’t go to Mass this Christmas” if you’re sick.  She gently made her case and reminded readers, “I know that it’s painful to think about missing Christmas Mass, and you really are feeling better, but better doesn’t mean not-contagious. I’m coming to you as the mother of a child with an auto-immune disease and begging you to be merciful this Christmas. Your “almost better” could land her, the elderly, the very young, those on chemotherapy, etc in the hospital or, depending on the illness, even kill them.”  Her article seemed to be directed more at people who were at the tail end of an illness, not in the midst of one.  I think she was relying on common sense to dictate the obvious…if you are in the throes of an illness, you are better off staying home.  What appears to be a mild cold to an adult could be the croup or RSV to a child.  What is an annoying virus to you could be the beginning of a miserable experience, an illness plagued by complications, for someone with an auto-immune disease or an elderly person.  Common courtesy dictates that we share love, not germs.  I am, in no way, advocating a world where we all live in bubbles, but I am asking if you are sick, be kind and considerate.

Recently, we visited a church for Mass and were greeted, hesitantly, by a sick priest.  He still shook our hands, but warned us that he was sick.  I hastened to grab the germ-x to clean our hands after, but as Mass wore on and the poor priest continued to look and sound miserable, it occurred to me that the moment was quickly approaching when we would have to receive communion from his hands.  The same hands that had been covering his mouth each time he coughed.  The same communion that was being prayed over, while being coughed over.  I glanced over at the deacon and reassured myself that things might turn out fine because perhaps he would be handing out communion.  Perhaps Father would sit this one out.  Then the peace offering came.  I watched as the priest offered peace to the deacon and each of the altar servers and I cringed.  Those germs were being passed along to all the hands who were preparing to serve food to a congregation of elderly people and children.  The moment came.  While Dax, William and I managed to receive from the deacon, Joseph was one of the congregation who received the Body of Christ directly from Father’s hands.  But regardless of where Joseph received the Eucharist, the fact remained that Father had handed out the Eucharist to half of the people gathered there that day…half of the people gathered were now exposed to whatever bug Father had.

We left Mass and I felt utterly defeated.  Already I spend Mass worrying about who’s coughing around me, now I could add worrying about the Eucharistic ministers’ health to my list (this week it was the priest who was sick, next week would it be the deacon?).  I thought maybe this whole episode was a stark reminder of how as humans we often lack complete faith.  I thought maybe I misunderstood and perhaps the Body of Christ is protected from all germs.  I thought maybe this was a ploy by the devil to shake my faith.  After all, the moment I left church, I thought to myself, how will I ever receive communion again without worrying about what the hands that are feeding me are covered in?  This devilish ploy seemed to be working.

After arriving home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  I wasn’t so much worried about us all getting sick as much as I was annoyed about the lack of common courtesy.  If I invite someone over for a meal, I always wash my hands before preparing food (and I’m not even going to put food directly into anyone’s mouth!).  Why should it be any different when serving the Eucharist?  In fact, you would think it would be even more important for everyone to wash their hands…it’s the Body of Christ, after all.  As Catholics we believe in transubstantiation…while it may look and taste like bread, it isn’t symbolic.  That is truly the Body of Christ.  Clean hands seem not only appropriate but required.

And truthfully, I’m not even just suggesting that those who are sick and handing out the Eucharist should wash their hands.  On the contrary, I am suggesting that those who are sick should abstain from handing out the Eucharist whereas those who are distributing, should be expected to wash their hands.  On their website about how flu is spread, the CDC states the following..

Most healthy adults may be able to infect other people beginning 1 day before symptoms develop and up to 5 to 7 days after becoming sick. Children may pass the virus for longer than 7 days. Symptoms start 1 to 4 days after the virus enters the body. That means that you may be able to pass on the flu to someone else before you know you are sick, as well as while you are sick. Some people can be infected with the flu virus but have no symptoms. During this time, those persons may still spread the virus to others.

After reflecting a little more, I remembered that the last few times we visited the Austin area, each of the Catholic churches there had something in common.  After the peace offering, each person who would be distributing the Eucharist (the priest and deacon included and, of course, all extraordinary ministers) all washed their hands with a squirt of antibacterial alcohol sanitizer.  After a little digging, I found that, while there is no Diocesan policy in Austin regarding hand washing, many of the churches there have chosen to adopt a sanitizing rule of etiquette between the peace offering and distribution of communion.

I visited the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ website and found this:

What measures should be taken in Roman Catholic liturgies in the United States of America during flu season?

Priests, deacons, and extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion should be especially reminded of the need to practice good hygiene. Ministers of Holy Communion should always wash their hands before Mass begins; a further precaution suggests using an alcohol-based anti-bacterial solution before and after distributing Holy Communion.  The faithful should be instructed not to receive from the chalice if they feel ill.

Hmm, ministers of Holy Communion should always wash their hands before Mass begins?  I asked a few extraordinary ministers I know if that is a practice they follow.  The resounding answer was no, so either that rule has changed or it’s not a rule that’s followed (shoot, maybe it’s not even a rule at all, just a suggestion).  Regardless of whether the rule is followed or not, the fact that the USCCB even addresses the issue and suggests hand washing and even anti-bacterial solution leads me to believe that there is no miraculous germ killing happening between sick hands and the Eucharist.

Also, the faithful should be instructed not to receive from the chalice if they feel ill?  While to me it seems like common sense, I can say with absolute certainty, that this is the first time I have ever heard (or, in this case, read) that.  I know what it is to love the Lord and crave Holy Communion, but in the case of illness, perhaps we should look outside ourselves and remember that there is a collective audience out there who has come to receive the graces bestowed through Communion…not a communicable disease.

I agree wholeheartedly with RebeccaIf we’re kind-of under the weather, should we still be going to Mass?  Can I just say how much I love you people who ask this question? You’re sick enough to have the Get-Out-of-Mass-Free card right there in your grasp, and yet your love of God, hunger for the Eucharist, and sense of duty have you yearning to be there.  Here’s how I see it – if you’re (or your kids are) sick enough to be asking that question, then please stay home.  Rebecca’s article seemed geared toward those of us in the congregation, however, I’d like to extend the sentiments to those who are serving the Mass….the priests, the deacons and the extraordinary ministers.

I humbly implore anyone who is sick and considering Mass, to please remember that having a contagious disease is a valid excuse for missing Mass, as stated in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own pastor. Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin” (CCC 2181, emphasis added.) but if you feel that you absolutely must be there, then remember to be courteous.

This blogger does an excellent job of summing up the choice of attending Mass…One mother may stay home with a colicky teething nursing infant; another may go to Mass, expecting to stand in the back for much of it, but needing to be present as best she can be. One person battling a winter cold may stay home either for his own sake or for the sake of those fragile parishioners whom he may endanger with his virus; another may feel well enough to go to Mass, but will prudently bow towards those near him instead of shaking their hands at the Sign of Peace. One person with a four-wheel drive vehicle may venture out on uncleared roads in a snowstorm; another may pray at home, aware that the family’s old car in need of new tires isn’t safe under these circumstances. And so long as none of them takes the obligation to attend Mass lightly, or is, as the Catechism says, “deliberately fail(ing)” in the obligation to attend Mass, they needn’t worry about the specifics of their prudential decision. 

If you’re still unsure of whether you should be at Mass, Michelle does an excellent job of what constitutes a reason to miss Mass and she gives common courtesy reminders if you choose to still attend like not shaking hands during the peace offering and not taking the cup at communion.  She explicitly points out that It should go without saying that anyone who is even the slightest bit ill should not be distributing Communion as an extraordinary minister of holy Communion.

One last thought before I come off sounding like a know-it-all lay person. I understand that there are some people that are more crucial to Mass than others and I can imagine extenuating circumstances that might make missing Mass a more difficult decision for someone in charge.  After all, if I stay home to nurse a sick kid or two, chances are no one will miss us that week.  And if I do choose to attend, I can easily avoid shaking hands or sharing germs in other ways like sharing a communion cup.  But it might not be so easy for a priest.  If the priest has to miss Mass, then the congregation may have to miss out completely if there is no one to fill in or they may only be able to celebrate with a communion service.  The priest may feel this unnecessary and therefore he finds himself celebrating Mass.  There are still options available for a sick priest:  He could choose to sit out at communion and allow the deacon and other extraordinary ministers to distribute the Eucharist in order to avoid passing on germs or, as suggested by the USCCB, he could use alcohol based sanitizer.  It seems reasonable to say that deacons and extraordinary ministers should sit out, especially if sanitizer is not available.  And, of course, it goes without saying that just like the rest of the congregation, simple courtesies like covering your mouth and not shaking hands (before and after Mass and at the peace offering) can go a long way.

All in all, it just comes down to showing a little courtesy…share the love, folks, not the germs.

P.S.  A little aside…Joseph did end up getting sick, although most likely he caught it from Katie who showed signs the night after Mass, so it’s probably safe to say that we caught our funk elsewhere and while it was blessedly mild for those two, Andrew was not so lucky.  He’s still hacking away, hunkered down on his little bed, kleenex nearby.  Just goes to show that what’s mild for some is miserable for others.

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{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Daybook

Outside my window…there’s a kid going up and down, up and down.  William invented a pulley system that has a swing attached to it.  The kids can literally sit for hours going up and down, up and down.  Quite the little engineer.

I am remembering…Grandma Belcher.  Thanks, Mom, for sharing this picture.  It makes my heart warm with memories.

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I am listening…to the boys humming the theme tune for Star Wars.  This tune is getting.really.old.  I pray for patience.

I am wondering…why kids always have room for dessert, but they can’t seem to finish their veggies.

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I am going…to try to get an order ready for Mountain Rose Herbs.  I’m out of elderberries.  I seriously need to just plant my own herb garden.

I am pondering…Madame Manec’s comment in All the Light We Cannot See, “I’d expect that if God wants us to see something, we’ll see it.”

I am thankful…for a selfie stick.  We finally all fit in a picture.

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Around the house…the Lego box exploded.  There is a special place in Heaven for those of us who have to endure tiny plastic pieces.  Seriously, it takes a force of nature for me to keep my mouth shut each time I step on one.

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On the counter…a box of kleenex.  This cold requires no small amount of kleenex.  Probably worth buying stock.

I am wearing…dark gray corduroys and a many colored striped sweater.  It’s nice to actually get to wear a sweater.

We are preparing for…the spelling bee and the science fair…tomorrow!

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Someday I am going to miss…watching this kid run around with his backpack.  Not really sure the obsession with the backpack, but I do know that it is filled with treasures and he keeps it on all.the.time.  Seems like every time I glance out of my kitchen window, I see him darting around the backyard with it.  Last week, he also had a briefcase he carried with him.  He looked like he was on a super spy mission.  This week, the briefcase is gone…perhaps he delivered his highly confidential package.

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On my iPod…The Whole Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.  Absolutely fascinating.

I am readingAll the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr; Rosemary Gladstar’s Medicinal Herbs; High Five by Janet Evanovich; The Church of Mercy by Pope Francis.

A pile of library books is desperately craving my attention (and I am desperate to get started reading them!)…The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend by Katarina Bivald; Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin (so excited about this one…who doesn’t want to master the habits of everyday life?!); A Disease Called Childhood:Why ADHD Became an American Epidemic by Marilyn Wedge.

A peek into my day…early morning snuggles.

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Please visit The Simple Woman’s Daybook for more daybook entries.

{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Daybook

Outside my window…it’s clearing up.  Yesterday it was cold and rainy.  I really didn’t want to leave the house today.  So I didn’t.  Lucky me.

I am remembering…the pure joy on this kid’s face when he volunteered at the Renaissance Faire.

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I am listening…Katie stacking and restacking little cups.  Knocking them over.  Putting them on her head.  Then doing it all over again.

I am wondering…why my sewing machine consistently outsmarts me.  Sat down to make dilly pillows with the kids the other day…just a quick seam here and a quick seam there turned into an entire afternoon devoted to figuring out what the issue was.  (No need to examine my stitches…I am a self-proclaimed un-perfectionist when it comes to sewing…I’m just impressed when I actually manage to sew something!)

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I am going…to start the drudgery of doing our taxes.  1099s to get ready.  Reports to print.  My brain wants to be excited…I like the way the numbers all line up and it all makes sense, but I just can’t quite get there…there are just too many other things rattling around in my brain, vying for attention.

I am pondering…St. Teresa Benedicta’s words…”When night comes, and retrospect shows that everything was patchwork and much that one had planned left undone, when so many things rouse shame and regret, then take all as is, lay it in God’s hands, and offer it up to Him. In this way we will be able to rest in Him, actually to rest and to begin the new day like a new life.”

I am thankful…that these little guys (and gal!) all get to grow up together.  Their lives are defined, not just by their own experiences, but by the experiences they share together.  Lots of beautiful moments shared together.  The fact that they’re all cousins is just the cherry on top.

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In the schoolroom…we’re back in the swing of things.  Lots of history and science (as well as science fair projects).  Herbal studies are taking center stage for our nature studies and the kids’ reading goals are ready and posted on the wall.

In the refrigerator…homemade elderberry syrup.  Ooh, our herbal studies are well underway, but they deserve a post all of their own.

I am wearing…black pants and a pink t-shirt, covered by a coral zip-up hoodie.

We are preparing for…the Tournament of Scholars.  Joseph will be participating in the Spelling Bee and Science Fair.  William will be participating in the Science Fair.

Someday I am going to miss...the whole inside out shirt thing.  Not really sure what the fascination is with wearing them inside out, but every one of mine has gone through a phase of it.  Last time I wore my shirt incorrectly was when I attended the 7:30 am Mass and got dressed in the dark…I didn’t discover that my shirt was on backwards until I got home.  Personally, wearing my clothes incorrectly was rather embarrassing…not fascinating.

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I am reading…I have declared this to be a year of intentional reading.  I have an entire list (part of which is inspired by Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Reading Challenge) ready to go.  Right now I’m knee deep in All the Light We Cannot See, High Five, The Church of Mercy, and Rosemary Gladstar’s Medicinal Herbs.  Lots of reading.  Lots of intention.

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One of my favorite things…from this past Advent was taking this little gang Christmas caroling.

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A peek into my day

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Please visit The Simple Woman’s Daybook for more daybook entries.

{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Merry Christmas!

 

Dear family and friends,

As I sit here flipping through pictures of 2015, looking for the ones that mark the big events, reflecting on our year, wondering what in the world is worthy of a Christmas letter mention, I am struck by the pure joy I see reflected in all these photos. My kids’ eyes sparkle; their smiles are contagious. Another year of parenting and Daxson and I are becoming accomplished students, learning to see the world through these little people’s eyes. I thought I’d share with you a few lessons we’ve learned this past year…

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There is magic in everything. No really, I mean everything. Not just in the big moments, like when William managed to lose both front teeth within a few days of each other and then anxiously waited to see if the tooth fairy would manage to make it twice in one week (which she miraculously did!) or when they hopped up and down at the discovery of trinkets in their slippers on St. Nicholas’ feast day, but in the little things, as well. Like the way Katie is swept away, as Cinderella, to a ball when she dances with her brothers or the way Andrew can magically change his character just based on a pair of shorts (the black ones are Batman; the red ones are Superman). But the beauty of magic in their world is that there doesn’t have to be definitive proof…the belief is enough to fuel their imaginations. I recently watched Joseph building a little fairy house by the pecan tree, arranging and rearranging his creation until it was just right. And when it was done, he explained that fairies would feel welcome there. Then he looked over and added an afterthought…just in case they really do exist. And in their world, the possibility is just as sweet as the reality.

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More often than not, life is about the process, not the product. This past summer we had a Tinkerlab. I went in with it all organized and I had a book that gave ideas on how to build things. I imagined exactly how it was going to go…the kids would sit down, all orderly, and I’d hand out supplies and we’d build exactly what the book suggested. But somehow they made it to the Tinkerlab supplies before I did and what I saw (after the initial holy cow! that’s a mess! thought) astounded me. They were building beautiful creations without any guidance, without any rules. So I left them to it. Some of their projects turned out (like Andrew’s chair that looks so unsteady but is actually a favorite resting spot in the backyard, even for adults); other projects turned into something else along the way (like William’s homemade instrument that somehow managed to transform into a rocket); and some projects were just never finished (like Joseph’s long thought out machine that was going to recycle whatever you put in it). But it really didn’t matter…it was the feel of the goop in their hands, the flubber bouncing off the floor, the sawdust in their hair…it was the process, not the product. A valuable lesson in a society that only seems to value performance. A quiet reminder that sometimes the beauty lies mainly in the journey.

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Joy is meant to be simple. Not complicated. It’s not meant to require advanced planning and foresight or a list of supplies that breaks the bank. Sometimes I get caught up in what friends are doing or the latest blog about the best way to teach this or that and I forget. I forget that simple is good. And memorable. And magical. A cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter night. A walk around the neighborhood, hand in hand. A sunset and the chance to take their lanterns out to play hide and seek in the dark. A first camping trip with cousins in the woods, free to laugh loud and run free. The simple traditions that define our family life: Waffle Wednesday, family game night, movie night, ice cream every Sunday afternoon, early morning snuggles. It isn’t the material goods that make them happy. Or the millions of Pinterest projects. It’s the people. The relationships. The time we spend together, laughing and building memories. It’s what’s hidden in the simplicity of life that makes their world a place of joy.

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Mercy. Forgiveness. Peace. Understanding. I lose my temper and yell at a child or I get lost on my phone texting while they wait, wide-eyed, vying for my attention. I look up and catch their unmasked adoration and I repent. And they forgive. Over and over again. Each day is new. Fresh without yesterday’s mess. They offer me mercy and forgiveness. They fill my heart with peace and understanding, only because their entire world is built on a foundation of peace and understanding. They possess a childlike faith in humanity. They exhibit unconditional love. Their hearts are pure and innocent, untarnished by the harsh realities of life and I revel in their spirits. I find myself just wanting to be near them because I know their ways will become my ways if I just allow myself to soak up their wisdom and faith.

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I close this year (and this letter!) with a heart full of gratitude. I am thankful for a year of beautiful memories with this little family of mine. I am thankful for a marriage that continues to grow and is strengthened by the trials we face. The struggle is real, but having a partner who is steadfast and supportive makes the crosses encountered easier to bear. I am thankful for another year spent homeschooling my children, learning alongside them, delighting in each new adventure, praising God for each hurdle overcome. Thankful for the richness of good health, steady work for Daxson and prosperity. Thankful for friends and family that are so dear to our hearts. Thankful to have each and everyone of you in our lives.

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May God bless you with a magical season filled with all the things that make us worthy to be loved…mercy, forgiveness, peace, understanding and unconditional love. And here’s to hoping you get to experience 2016 with childlike wonder and faith.

With love from The Saterys:

Daxson, Stacie, Joseph (8), William (6), Andrew (4), and Katelyn (2)

 

{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Daybook

Outside my window…it is bare.  The big ash tree that has given us shade for all these years was finally declared rotten…so today we said farewell.  The stump will be gone soon, too, but for now it makes a fun addition for backyard play.

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I am remembering…a beautiful, bountiful Thanksgiving dinner at Mom and Dad’s…and I am so very thankful.

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I am listening…to Joseph and William’s voices, recording a book for Andrew on the Sparkup, their voices a tiny hum amidst all the noise of Andrew and Katie who are building with Duplos and imagining a world all of their own.

I am going…to try to remember all the thoughts bouncing around in my head.  Seems like an idea bounces in and before I can react, it bounces right out again.

I am pondering…Sometimes, in order to move forward, we have to let go of dreams and of vision. We have to see how our carefully crafted ideas of the way things should be might not be part of God’s plan after all. We have to come up with new visions, ones that are colored and tempered by the experiences of life. The trick, I think, to doing this successfully, is to believe that the new vision really can be better than the old one, even if the old one was very dear, indeed. –E. Foss

I am thankful…for quiet moments early in the morning before little sleepyheads appear.

In the schoolroom…Advent plans are well underway.  There are Jesse Tree readings and ornaments to hang.  Our Advent books are all wrapped and labeled to be opened each day.  We plug along through Advent with our regular Math and Grammar, but our science and history correlate to the season.  This year, inspired by the scents of the Christmas season, we decided to embark on an herbal study.  We’re studying herbal use throughout history (this is a rich topic and so related to this season…the most obvious being the Wise Men and their gifts) and the science of using herbal remedies, using this awesome kit and game.  Our reading is focused around the Herb Fairies and this lovely book by Lesley Tierra.

Around the house…it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…we tried to hold out on decorating the tree, to keep in tune with the true spirit of Advent, but we just couldn’t wait.  So the tree is decorated, the lights are up, and if it weren’t high 70’s outside, I’d say it’s feeling like Christmas is in the air.

In the refrigerator…parsley pesto.  And it’s good.

I am wearing…a cotton knit skirt that Mom lovingly whipped together for me and a blue t-shirt.

We are preparing for…obviously…Christmas ; )

Someday I am going to miss…William’s nonstop talking.  Joseph’s constant humming.  Katie’s squealing.  Andrew’s chatter.  But just for today, a little silence would be nice.

I am reading…Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum books.  Yes, that’s right.  I’ve doubled my years since the first time I read this series.  I thought it would be fun to re-read them…just to see if I still have the same sense of humor I did when I was in college.  Turns out, yep, these books are still as funny as the first time I read them. 

One of my favorite things…this girl…

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A peek into my day

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Please visit The Simple Woman’s Daybook for more daybook entries.