Mind

Intentional Learning: Setting Goals for our Homeschool Year

/ Stacie / 4 Comments

Spring is here and, for those of us that homeschool, spring includes the madness and chaos of planning for next year.  Catalogs fill the mailbox, conferences inspire our hearts, evaluations of a year passed guide us toward our goals for the following year.

It’s easy to get lost in the whirlwind of choices.

It’s easy to forget why we chose this path.

It’s easy to just tag along with the cultural flow and do what everyone else is doing because we just can’t imagine our kid not keeping up with other kids his age.

It’s easy to approach our educational philosophy a bit unintentionally.

But being intentional is so important when our children’s hearts are at stake.  Because it’s not just about reading, writing and ‘rithmetic.  It’s about character and morals and citizenship.  It’s about growing this unique little being into the person he was created to be.

The educator and philosopher Charlotte Mason tells us that ““Our aim in Education is to give a Full Life.––We begin to see what we want. Children make large demands upon us. We owe it to them to initiate an immense number of interests. ‘Thou hast set my feet in a large room,’ should be the glad cry of every intelligent soul. Life should be all living, and not merely a tedious passing of time; not all doing or all feeling or all thinking––the strain would be too great––but, all living; that is to say, we should be in touch wherever we go, whatever we hear, whatever we see, with some manner of vital interest. We cannot give the children these interests; we prefer that they should never say they have learned botany or conchology, geology or astronomy. The question is not––how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education––but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set? and, therefore, how full is the life he has before him?” (Vol. 3, pp. 170, 171) (emphasis mine).

So not only are we expected to educate our child in the traditional sense of the word, but we’re expected to plant a seed in him that sprouts a love for learning, a thirst for knowledge. We’re expected to lead him toward a full life.  A life that is good and worthy and whole.

That’s a heavy responsibility.  One that can’t be approached casually.

If we simply look to the public school system as our guide, we are missing the entire spiritual realm of education.  Our children become well versed in grammar rules, mathematical concepts and reading skills, perhaps, but we completely leave their soul out of the equation.  We cheat them out of an education that forms their character, guides their morals and establishes the principles that will lead them in all the days ahead.  As we are mind, body and soul, we cannot overlook the formation of their very beings.  Charlotte Mason advised us to: “Look on education as something between the child’s soul and God. Modern Education tends to look on it as something between the child’s brain and the standardized test.”

So how do we intentionally approach our homeschool plan?  Surely, we muse, there is a curriculum that comes wrapped in a box with a pretty bow that covers everything we need.

If only it were that simple.

Unfortunately, it takes deep thought and reflection to guide us in our decisions.  It requires a map of sorts to guide us in our curriculum and book choices.  It requires intentional thought about where we want our children to be after 12 years of home education.

We must begin with a broad plan.  An intentional philosophy, so to speak.

Grab a pen, some beautifully lined paper and a cup of tea.

Now imagine your child as an adult.  What do you want for him?  I’m guessing you don’t want him depressed, on drugs, collecting welfare, barely paying the rent of a run-down shack, yelling at his girlfriend to tend to the baby.

Surely you want him to be well adjusted, morally sound, guided by his principles and ethics.

You want him to find pleasure in the simple things of life, right?  The feel of a spring day on his cheeks, the anticipation of reading the next chapter in a well-loved book, the delight of a walk through the neighborhood.

You want him to love his life, just as it is at that moment in time whether it’s surrounded by books in a library as he studies for his finals or backpacking through Europe exploring all the places he read and dreamed about in his childhood.  Or maybe he’s already settled in a job having made the choice not to go to college and he’s passionate about what he does and determined to make a go of it.  Or perhaps he has settled down with his sweetheart and they’re navigating the waters of married life but he’s not discouraged because he knows that this is just part of the journey and he’s full of hope and determination.

You want him to have hobbies that enrich his life, hobbies that help him find beauty, truth and goodness in the crazy, chaotic world, I’m sure.

You want him to feel the power of education at his fingertips, knowing that knowledge is just a book away.

Maybe you want him to have a solid personal relationship with his Creator or at least a solid foundation just in case he wanders a bit.

I’m quite sure you want him to grasp the basics of math and budgeting and fiscal responsibility, lest he find himself knee deep in debt without hope of loosening the master’s hold.

You probably want him to be well versed in American history and liberties so that if his freedom is ever at stake, he knows exactly what that means and just how far he is willing to go to retain those liberties.

I know you well enough to know that you have other dreams for him.  Mine might be quite different from yours so I hesitate to share anymore wanderings here with you lest my guide become more of a checklist.  I promise to share my own goals for our homeschool with you soon, but I want to allow you some time to ruminate over the thoughts I have shared here.

So take some time this week.  Put down the catalogs and stop browsing the web.  Mull over the big ideas.  The broad plan.  You can’t choose a curriculum until you’ve given the long term goals some serious, intentional thought.  Put your thoughts down on paper.  Feel free to come back and share some of your thoughts here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And Then There Were Four

/ Stacie / 2 Comments

Having my first kid was love at first sight.  I was in awe of that tiny little bundle.  Those ten little fingers and ten little toes made me weak in the knees.  I spent hours just staring at him, marveling at the wonder of life.  He and I, we meshed.  He moved into crawling and walking and still it felt as if this new heart of mine, this mommy heart, beat solely to the rhythm of his.

Then along came baby #2.  Less than 2 years after the arrival of #1.  And it was fun.  Now I got to introduce my first to all the amazing things that make babies so lovable.  I still had energy and patience and somehow I survived just fine on little sleep.  I adored both boys.  I marveled at every new thing they did.  I soaked up all the “Mommy watch this” and the “Mommy hold me.”  I loved being needed.  Tears and meltdowns felt like par for the course where I was able to soothe and restore.  I had this whole Mommy thing down pat.  Life was more chaotic than with just one, but I was good at it.  And I loved it.

Less than 2 years later, #3 arrived.  2 years after that, #4.  And suddenly I was knee deep in crowd control.  Being a Mommy didn’t feel nearly so fun and while I still was in love with each of my babies, there wasn’t a whole lot of time to reflect on the wonders and marvels of little life.  I hardly had time to stare at one before another needed my attention.  I was over here treading deep water just trying my best not to sink.  The first couple of years of #4’s life?  A complete blur.  When did she start walking?  What was her favorite bedtime story?  I’m ashamed to not know.  I’m sure I wrote it down somewhere but the moments aren’t carved into the essence of my heart the way they were with the first one.

Realizing I can’t remember some of those moments because I was moving through life in a daze?  That’s a sobering thought.

I don’t tend to hang myself with guilt or beat myself up with regret.  But I do tend to let my past guide me.

These relationships I have over here?  They’re not just important to me.  They’re my lifeline.  These kids might temporarily be mine before they head off into the wide world but they are my saving grace, my road to sanctification.

How will I possibly live with myself if I don’t nurture the little lives that I labored to bring into this world?

My littlest one is almost 4.  Life has slowed down considerably for me.  We can actually travel and not have to listen to screaming thirty minutes in.  No more diapers or nursing babies.  No more meltdowns eagerly awaiting naptimes.  I’ve got two boys that I can’t remember the last time they asked me to pick them up or hold them.  I only hear “Mommy watch this” occasionally these days.  My once upon a time toddlers now help around the house and ease the workload of this busy mama so life doesn’t feel so overwhelming.

But I’ve spent the past few weeks looking at them wondering how the last few years impacted our relationships.  I know I was here physically, but my goodness, mentally I was exhausted.  Some days I felt like I had nothing left in me to give.  I can’t honestly say that I paused long enough to listen to each of them.  There was always so much laundry and cooking and cleaning and the minute one began to talk, another began to cry.  I literally spent the last few years divided, not really giving fairly to any of them.

Of course it doesn’t help that on top of all my own self-induced responsibilities, I also had the distraction of an outside world.  Text messages, social calls, Facebook groups, the world of internet.  It all moves so fast today.  So very fast.

So how do I nurture the relationships that give me purpose in such a fast paced world?

I have a vision of what I want our relationship to look like twenty years from now.  And so I choose.  I choose to slow down.  To stop and savor.  To be intentional.  Intentional in my plans.  Intentional in my conversations.  Intentional in the moments I share with these darling little beings.  Intentional because that’s how a goal is met…one intention at a time.

If you want to be a pro soccer player someday, you train.  Intentionally.  You don’t spend your days eating bags of potato chips and greasy hamburgers.  You don’t take weeks off  to stay indoors reading books about soccer.  You play soccer.  It’s one training session at a time.  One intentional day at a time.

Relationships are no different.

Sometimes those intentional moments require a complete break from the fast paced beat of our everyday lives.  Sometimes it’s as simple as turning off the phone.  Other times it’s as simple as choosing them over some imagined priority.  It’s always as easy as looking into their eyes when they’re talking to me.  Listening to them when they express themselves (even when that’s done through a cascade of tears or a fit of anger).  Holding them even when they think they don’t need to be held.

Those things pressing into me from every side.   Most of those things will still be there tomorrow.  They’ll still be there twenty years from now.  But these relationships I’m building?  That’s happening now.  And I have to choose.  If I want those to look like I imagine in twenty years, then I have to choose to be intentional today.

 

Choco-Lit: The Art of Intentional Conversation {About Books}

/ Stacie / 2 Comments

I  used to think joining a book club was a luxury.  It seemed a bit romanticized.  Women joining together over wine or dinner or coffee and tea to discuss lofty ideas in a book they’d all agreed to read.

And then I had my moments of thinking the opposite.  Surely these women gathered together under the pretext of discussing ideas when, in fact, they were gossiping and drinking wine and using it as an excuse to get together.

My only real experience with book discussions was limited to either “Here, you’ve got to read this!” passing comments or my literature classes in college where I often left feeling like I was obviously some type of nitwit because I certainly never interpreted that passage THAT way.  Add to that the poor guidance I was given through high school in reading classic pieces of literature and I tended to imagine a club to discuss books could only be fun if it involved easy, modern fiction.

Ahhh, how my tune has changed.  Or in this case, my tastes, my perceptions, my intentions.

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I’ve been in my current book club now for almost four years.  Four beautiful years of reading, reflecting, conversing.  Four beautiful years of intentional conversations about shared reading.  Four beautiful years of a community of women that I eagerly gather together with once a month where we can express our own journeys through discussions based on characters and plots and settings and circumstances.

So the thing about my book club is it has been a bit fluid in the past.  In fact, of the original members, I am the only one that remains.  Members have changed, book lists have changed, discussion formats have changed, venues have changed.  Even our name has changed (we are now the Choco-Lit Society…because who doesn’t want to eat chocolate while discussing books?!)

One thing has not changed though.  Intentional literary discussions.

Intentional literary discussions (whether done with a group of like-minded women, a group of diverse women, your husband, your sister, or even your kids) is the pathway to our souls.  Our minds are wired for stories and character transformation…our own character transformation…happens when we soak up a piece of literature and gather together to hash out the details.  We open ourselves to alternative perspectives, constructive criticism and a deeper understanding of ideas when we engage in intentional literary conversations.

Not every book turns out to be what I imagined.  Not every book sparks my imagination.  Some books are lovelier than others.  Some speak to my soul more deeply.  Some I struggle with.  Some I learn from.  Some I connect with.

But the conversation that takes place at book club?  That’s what makes each and every book worth reading.

Because when we come together and actually, intentionally, discuss the book, our minds grow.  Our souls connect over a literary world we’ve immersed ourselves in.  Suddenly the great big world seems a little bit smaller because it turns out that we all have joys to celebrate, hardships to endure, lessons to learn and we discover that through deep, heartfelt discussions that anchor our floating thoughts to concrete words.

This year to mark the our literary intentions of 2017, we have decided to lay out our plans for the entire year (in the past we chose books a month or two in advance).  We are focusing on classic pieces of literature this year.  We gather together on the last Monday of every month at 7 in the evening to discuss, with intention, the book for the month.  And each of these books are full of beautiful, worthy subjects to discuss.

I encourage you, if you are not part of a book club already, to join one.  Personally, I fail at online book clubs, but I know many women who thrive in them.  Join an intentional conversation and see the goodness, the beauty and the truth that lie hidden behind a literary conversation.  And then won’t you come back and share your experience with us?

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Filling My Mind: Intentional Reading

/ Stacie / 3 Comments

I don’t have to read these days.  For myself, that is.  I am not officially a student of any sort nor am I working in a place of establishment that requires reading (reading to and with my children is a completely different topic).  But I enjoy reading and I consider myself a lifelong student of the world and so, with intention, I set out a reading list at the beginning of each year.

“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.”  Oscar Wilde

My list isn’t written in stone.  Sometimes something strikes me mid-year and I obsessively pour over every book written on the topic; other times, I pass through a used book store and happen upon a special little gem and so my list grows.  Sometimes I start a book on my list and find myself distracted or uninterested and so I set it aside and my list shrinks a bit.  It’s a give and take.  But, for the most part, it is intentional.

My time is precious.  There isn’t much to spare these days and I have to make the most of the moments I have in this busy season of my life.  But my mind needs sustenance…goodness, beauty and truth.  Intentionally reading helps me achieve that goal.

I have divided my list into books for my mind, books for my body and books for my spirit (and I have now divided my post into three posts…mind, body and spirit…even I was feeling a little overwhelmed looking at my list in its entirety).  There’s a whole slew of books that are just for pure pleasure which I’ve categorized under spirit since I consider pleasureful reading a boost to my spirit (many of which you’ll notice are youth books…I like to pre-read the books I plan to assign to my kids…that way I get a feel for whether it’ll be a good fit for each child) .

Please don’t look at my list as a benchmark.  My intentional reading journey should look nothing like yours if it’s truly meant to be intentional.  This isn’t a “print and do” kind of list.  It’s a list simply to encourage you in making one of your own.  If you borrow a title or two from my list, then it was worth my time to list each title individually (and if you don’t, well then hopefully I inspire you to create your own and that makes this post every bit as worthy!).

If you don’t currently have a habit of reading, start small.  Aim for one book a month (Modern Mrs. Darcy had a lovely Reading Challenge checklist last year and I’m sure she’ll have one this year to help you narrow down the vast array of books available).  Also, don’t forget about audio books.  Lovely, lovely audio books.  You can subscribe to audible or use the Overdrive app if your library offers it.  Audio books make mundane tasks like folding laundry or washing dishes so much lovelier.

Without further ado, here is the intentional part of my reading list for 2017 that focuses on my mind.  I include any heavy duty classic pieces of literature here since I feel that the content tends to be a little meatier, the vocabulary tends to push my brain a little further and the story typically plants ideas in my mind that give me something to stew over.

(Books marked with an * are re-reads for me because sometimes I intentionally do that…just to soak up something new or to enjoy something old)intentional-reading-2017-books-for-the-mind

Books for my Mind:

  • Books for Encouraging my Journey in Understanding Oneself:
    • The Five Languages of Apology:  I have loved all of Gary Chapman’s books but I missed this one.  I’m intrigued to read and understand how people speak “apology” differently
    • The Highly Sensitive Person:  I became fascinated with the idea that some people are “highly sensitive” and after taking the test and learning that both Dax and I are “highly sensitive” people, I am eager to read about what EXACTLY that means
    • The Enneagram Made Easy:  I’m obsessed with putting people in their character boxes…it offers me insight into me and the way I interact with others
    • Leaving a Trace:  a book dedicated to journaling?  Yes, please.
    • Nurtured by Nature:  another “put people in their boxes” type of book, this one being specifically for giving me insight into my children
  • Books to Nourish the Mind of a Homeschooling Mama:
  • Books to guide me down the Turbulent Road of Parenting:
    • Calm and Compassionate Children:  I don’t really remember where or why I picked this one up, but it’s been on my shelf for awhile and it does look interesting
    • Beyond the Birds and the Bees:  Just so I’m ready ’cause I know my time is coming when one of these little guys will start asking questions.
    • Strong Mothers, Strong Sons:  I like Meg Meeker’s books and her suggestions
    • *Hints on Child Training:  I loved this the first time and I imagine I’ll love it a second time.  He wrote it over 100 years ago, yet his advice is still incredibly wise today
  • Classics to Nourish my Brain with Goodness, Beauty and Truth:
    • Anna Karerina:  Mostly because I just like Leo Tolstoy but also because I’m pretty sure I’m missing out on something when other famous authors refer to a book as “the best novel ever written” (William Faulkner)
    • The Jungle:  I’m not really sure how I missed this one so I plan to remedy that
    • *The Pilgrim’s Progress:  A classic allegory worth the time to re-read
    • The Count of Monte Cristo:  I’m in the midst of reading this one.  I started it last fall and got distracted but I’m determined to finish.  It comes highly recommended.
    • Lonesome Dove:  Because it’s time to decide if all the raving reviews are accurate

I would love to hear what books you plan to intentionally read this year.  Really, I would.  Mostly because I’m a book junkie and maybe you’ve got a great suggestion but also just because it’s encouraging to see that I’m not the only one with reading intentions.

Next up will be my Intentional Reading List for the Body…any good suggestions?  I’d love to hear them!

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With Every Intention: Here’s to 2017

/ Stacie / 5 Comments

2017 is upon us and here at With Every Intention, we truly have every intention to make 2017 a year to remember and we want to invite you to join us.  This isn’t a sneaky ploy to get you to make and keep resolutions.  It isn’t a goal-making guide or a step-by-step solution to being more organized, more perfect or even healthier.  It is a journal of our individual journeys, our swim upstream that we want to share with you.  We want to show you that intentionality breeds beauty, truth and goodness and we want to show you how we strive each day to live our moments with every intention.  We want to encourage you in your own intentional journey.

I am not a resolution maker.  In fact the few times I made resolutions, I sat down and demanded goals of myself.  I waited for the first of the year and then I sunk under the lofty weight of my own goals.  It felt like so much pressure.

But while I fail at making and keeping resolutions, I am learning to excel in living intentionally.

The root word of resolution is resolve, which, by definition, means to decide firmly on a course of action. On the other hand, intend, by definition, means to design something for a particular purpose.

I delight in that thought…to design something for a particular purpose.  It sounds poetic and lofty without the weight of a firm decision.  My mindset morphs from something to struggle beneath to something to strive for just by changing a word.

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Living intentionally isn’t the same as carpe diem.  Carpe diem is a Latin phrase meaning seize the day, but the meaning is meant to apply to the present only; to not be concerned about the future, whereas living with intention is living with a purpose.  Living with a purpose implies that it isn’t just about the here and now, but it’s meant to lay the path for future days.

So what does living intentionally actually look like?  For me, sometimes it includes lists of intentionality (the act of being deliberate) such as the books I plan to read, the projects I mean to complete, the design I hope to follow, the food I fill my body with; other times it is as simple as being present in the moment, delighting in the idea that as I live deliberately, I am marking the path for my future, the future of my marriage, the future of my children.  Living intentionally is an opportunity to slow down and savor the goodness, the beauty and the truth of all that surrounds me.  It is an opportunity to cultivate gratitude as I appreciate the little moments that mark the passage of time.

One of my favorite stories of all time is The Three Questions, a story by Leo Tolstoy.  In it, there is a king who realized that if only he knew the right time for every action, the most necessary people and the most important thing to do, he would never fail in anything he undertook.  So he called for all the wise men to come forth and answer his three questions.  After listening to these supposed wise men (and all of their contradicting answers), the king decides to go and seek the wisdom of a hermit.  After various events that day, the hermit concludes with this advice:

“Remember then: there is only one time that is important–Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with any one else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life!”

There it is.  The heart and soul of living with intention: being present in this moment right now, being present with the people you are with at this moment right now, and doing good at this moment right now.  In other words, living this moment with purpose and intention.

A lofty goal, but an achievable one that reaps rewards through every fiber of one’s being.  Mind, body, and soul.

Please come and join Leslie and me this year as we begin a new year filled With Every Intention.

 

 

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