A Phase

He’s so clingy lately.  If I’m even out of sight for a moment, it’s a complete meltdown.  He follows me from room to room, simply reminding me that he’s there by saying, “Mommy time.  I need mommy time.”  I stop often to pick him up.  I cuddle him.  I snuggle him.  I rock him and tote him from place to place.  I hold him as I make meals, do laundry, and clean up in the evening.   There is no concept of alone time for me right now.  I am defined by a tiny little 19 month old.  In the evenings, when he finally closes his eyes for a peaceful night of sleep, I breathe a guilty sigh of relief.  I can move around by myself for the moment being, however brief that moment may be.  I can get a glass of water without having to share it.  I can actually go to the bathroom, unaccompanied.  Daxson says I should stop picking him up.  He rationalizes that I just encourage clingy behavior by appeasing him.  I don’t agree.  I see clinginess as a phase (isn’t everything with children essentially just that?).  I see it as a moment in their little lives when something doesn’t feel just right.  Maybe life hasn’t been as consistent as usual or maybe they’ve been exploring a little more often and are retreating back to something a little more stable or maybe they just need a little extra love.  Who knows.  I doubt I’ll ever know exactly why my children have clingy phases…they can’t dig that deep into their little psyches.  But I do know that as with all phases, this will pass.  So in the meantime, I’m going to do what I do best.  I’m going to listen to intuition, the little voice inside my mommy heart.  I’m going to pick him up when he cries because if I don’t, my mommy heart aches knowing that he needs to be comforted and I’m not doing my part.  I’m going to grin and bear it (and offer it up) when he follows me into the bathroom for the fifth time that day.  I’m going to snuggle and cuddle and rock and tote because this is just a phase and I know I’ll be so sad when the phase passes and he no longer has time for some Mommy time.

One thought on “A Phase

  1. Yes, as hard as it is…treasure that time. If I could shrink you back to that time and have some “Mommy time” I would. For both you and your sister.


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