Me: Hi Joseph!  What are you doing?

Joseph:  Doing.

Me: I see that you’re doing something, but what are you doing?

Joseph: (very matter-of-factly)  Doing.

Me: Yes, but what are you doing?

Joseph: (getting a little impatient with me)  Doing.

Me:  I guess I don’t understand.  What do you mean “doing?”

Joseph:  I mean it.

Me:  (a little exasperated) What do you mean?

Joseph:  I mean it.

I read somewhere that boys need 6 hours of outdoor time a day.  I don’t remember where I read that, in fact, I’m not even sure what age that was referring to, but it’s stuck in my mind.  My boys don’t get quite that much time outside a day outside, but they do get outdoor time everyday.  After all, they’re boys…that’s what boys need.  They need wide open places to get all of their energy out. 

Now we live in the south.  The deep, deep south.  And it’s hot.  So very hot and humid.  And so I don’t always jump with joy when it’s time to take my boys outside.  Sometimes I actually dread it.  But still I put on their little tennis shoes, grab some water, and follow along behind two very excited, very energetic little boys.  I grab a chair or lay a quilt out on the ground for myself and I watch as they bounce along, eager to resume their play from the day before…sometimes it’s sidewalk art, sometimes it’s sand and water play, sometimes it’s sports, sometimes it’s playing on the swingset, sometimes it’s good old fashioned imagination fueled fun.  I can physically see the effect playing outside has on my boys.  I see it in their eyes, in their flushed little cheeks, in their exuberance.  It’s their opportunity to escape.  To be free.  To be hindered by nothing but their imagination.  It’s not to say that they don’t use their imaginations inside, but being outside is just different.  It just sets the imagination on fire.  I can see their little minds working differently when we’re outside.  Maybe it’s because there are so few toys outside that they’re forced to rely on their imaginations…and they do it beautifully. 

But here’s the funny thing.  It might not be as physical, but playing outside has a huge effect on me.  Yep, I said me.  See, I used to always take something productive outside with me.  I’d take a nonfiction book or the phone or some other little task that needed to be accomplished.  I’d use the outdoor time productively…because, well, because that’s what adults do…we use our time productively.  

Then one day I didn’t take anything.  I’m not sure what came over me.  I just wandered outside empty handed.  And I didn’t find a task to busy myself with.  Instead, I just sat on the quilt and watched the boys play.  Then when I realized they were happily playing, I laid down and watched the clouds for awhile.  Soon Joseph joined me and asked what I was doing.  He, too, stayed to watch the clouds for awhile.  Then William toddled over and joined us.  And in that moment I realized that being outdoors is my chance for escape, too.  When we’re outdoors I am free…free from ringing phones and incoming emails.  Free from all the millions of distractions that I find inside my home…free from the neverending list of things to do.  We live in a very fast paced environment, rushing all the time.  It feels good to have a moment to breathe.  To just be. 

So I know it’s hot…it’s the middle of the summer.  But the best advice I can offer (and the reason you might not be seeing many blogs this summer!) is to take your kids and go outside.  Pull out the baby pool, turn on the sprinkler, do whatever you have to do to make it bearable, but then just sit back and enjoy it.  If you’ve forgotten how, just watch your kids and follow their lead.  There’s a reason kids need lots of outdoor time…I think maybe we never outgrow that…we just sometimes need to be reminded of how relaxing it is to just be.

Sometimes it’s hard to really see our kids.  Sure we look at them each and every day, but that’s what makes it so hard to really see them.  We never notice the subtle changes.  We just keep trudging along, knowing in our heart that they’re growing and getting older, but not really seeing those little changes.  And then every so often, we’re offered a moment of clarity.  A moment when we suddenly look at them and notice, I mean really notice, how much they’ve grown, be it physically or mentally.

I had one of those moments the other day.  I looked at Joseph and suddenly realized how much he’s grown.  What happened to the pudgy little legs that he toddled around on for so long or the bald little head that I swore was never going to grow hair.  He’s growing so fast.  I’ve known that.  It just took me awhile to really see it.

Taken from Meg Meeker’s Boys Should Be Boys…

“She knows from the moment her son belts out his first wail that she exists to love him.  She is needed because he needs her.  He needs the nourishment, the security, and the love that she provides, which will not only keep him alive but also keep her knowing that she is needed.  So she will protect, adore, and nurture this tiny boy until he becomes a man, and then the ache will feel overwhelming.  As a man he will leave, and life as a mother will never be the same for her.  She will continue to love her son, but the connection will be reworked.  Not because she has changed but because one day, he will belong to another.

This knowledge did not exist before his birth.  But it presents itself the moment his mother sees him and as her maternal instinct draws her very close to her son.  That is the way mother-son relationships are meant to be.  From the moment she clings, she prepares herself ever so slowly for the eventual release.

This tension doesn’t exist with the birth of a daughter.  A daughter can stay connected with her mother forever; mothers and daughters have genetic, hormonal, and psychological bonds that cannot be broken.  She can become another’s, but her mother can still keep her.  They are female together in that bond, and they can stay connected even when life changes the circumstances around them.  But the tie a mother feels with her son is more fragile, more tenuous; he is different because he’s a man.  But for as long as he is a child, he is ours and we feel we must protect him.”