Holy Week (mostly in pictures)

April 9, 2015 / Stacie / Leave a comment

You’ll see many pictures here, mostly because it’s easier to show you than to try to explain. Each of the major events (Palm Sunday, the washing of the feet, the Last Supper, the Way of the Cross, etc) are acted out in some way. There are a few options that we typically use: our Betty Lukens feltboard, our Worship Woodworks pieces, our Jesse Box, or our peg dolls (or some combination of those things!).

Aside from the activities mentioned here, we also use the following DVDs to enhance our Holy Week: The Miracle Maker: The Story of Jesus; The Easter Story; Greatest Heroes and Legends of the Bible: The Last Supper, Crucifixion, and Resurrection.

Our Easter Book Basket is full, too, of course!

Palm Sunday: Jesus arrives in Jerusalem

Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday. We usually re-enact the Palm Sunday procession, sometimes with ourselves as the characters; sometimes with peg dolls or other figures. This year we also built Jerusalem and began our Holy Week in Handprints book.

Holy Thursday: Jesus washes His disciples’ feet and celebrates the Last Supper; the Garden of Gethsemane and the Betrayal of Judas

On Holy Thursday, we take turns washing each others’ feet just as Jesus did for His disciples. In past years, we’ve prepared unleavened bread (this year, since we were gluten free, we substituted with corn tortillas!). We continued with our handprints for our Holy Week book. We finished Holy Thursday with our Lenten meal (which lends itself so nicely to chicken tacos). This year Joseph wrote out all the labels for the meal and the Bible verses which accompanied each food. It made it very easy to sit down for dinner and as we filled our plates, someone read each Bible verse and explained the significance of the food. I did not capture all of the details here, but for the most part, for this meal we stick to Alice’s suggestions for her 1st Lenten meal.

Good Friday: Jesus is condemned; The Way of the Cross; The Crucifixion

We typically pray the Stations of the Cross using either our Stations of the Cross eggs or our three part cards. This year we did a few notebooking pages (here you’ll see both Thursday and Friday’s completed pages) and worked on our Holy Week in Handprints book. Our Stations of the Cross meal (designed by Joseph, inspired by Alice at Cottage Blessings…we even use some of her suggestions from her 2nd Lenten meal here) completes our day and with it, we’re able to focus on all the events that happened along the way of the cross. (We’re missing a few dinner photos here…we serve grapes along with the king’s crown for the 1st station to represent the purple robe; we serve french fries as the 2nd station to represent the beams of wood for the cross; on the 5th station, we serve fish to represent Simon of Cyrene, who was on his way into town, most likely to see his goods (perhaps fish?) when he was called upon by the soldiers to help Jesus carry his cross).

Holy Saturday:

We usually begin our Holy Saturday with a recap of the week’s events, beginning with Palm Sunday. We use this day as a day of preparation for the excitement of tomorrow. We dye and decorate eggs, prepare the lamb cake (but don’t decorate it yet!), and this year, we continued our handprints book.

Easter Sunday: The Resurrection

Alleluia! Christ has risen! Today is a day for celebration! Church is followed by a big breakfast (this year breakfast was at Grandma Nury’s with an egg hunt there). At home, we read the Gospel together, decorate the lamb cake, hunt for eggs (confetti eggs, birdseed eggs, and our resurrection eggs), pack away Lent and decorate for Easter, and crack open our Resurrection eggs (these same eggs are used year after year). This year we also finished our handprint books and opened Easter baskets from Granny and Pappy.

Since Easter lasts for an entire season in the Church (Easter lasts 50 days until Pentecost Sunday!), if we don’t finish everything on this day, we happily spread it out over the next few days. In a few days, we’ll borrow Alice’s idea to have an Easter Tea to celebrate, through food, the events of the Easter season.

I DO NOT take the pill…and here’s why

April 6, 2015 / Stacie / 1 Comment

*Please understand that I am not passing judgement on anyone by posting this…not on the women who choose the pill or the doctors who prescribe it. I am not here to debate the proper use of medical necessity for artificial hormones (the pill or otherwise). I am not here to educate you on the pros and cons of artificial methods. I am simply sharing our journey and the effects of the path we’ve traveled.

If you’re expecting an entire discourse about the pros and cons, medically speaking, of the birth control pill, then look elsewhere. This isn’t that post. Nor am I going to write that post. I am not a doctor and there are so many brilliant medical minds out there, I fully implore you to find one of those brilliant minds with their research and read that.

What I am going to tell you is how NOT taking the pill has affected my marriage, my health and my life.

When Daxson and I first met, I was on the pill. I had been on it since I was a teen, as an effort to stop heavy, miserable, painful periods. And it worked. Beautifully. I had short, pain-free, light periods during my pill years. I never questioned it. My doctor told me that the pill was my option to fix my woes. Never did I ask for an alternative. Nor did I ever stop to take into consideration what altering my hormones just might be doing to my teenaged, hormonal body. I just went with the cultural flow.

Then I met Daxson. The questioner of all things given. And he asked why and with what effects and to what purpose and compared to which alternative (what? there was an alternative?!), as well as a host of other questions. In essence, he made me think. He expressed concern for my health. He encouraged me to think about it. So I did. And after some heavy thinking and research, (yep, I read all the same articles you have about the detrimental side effects, both long-term and short-term, of the pill) I decided to stop taking the pill. I imagined the worst. Terrible, painful periods. Hormonal shifts. Acne. Weight fluctuation. In actuality, nothing happened except a few blips in what was once a clockwork-like cycle. A longer cycle here. A shorter cycle there. Life went on. And I felt good about my choice.

Until Daxson and I became engaged. Then suddenly, family planning became a thought in my mind. What if we weren’t quite ready for a baby right away? Or what if we had a baby right away and then we didn’t want another one right away? Was I destined to have a million kids? I’d have to start the pill again. Yes, that had to be the answer. Or we’d have to use some other form of contraception. Yikes! This was serious stuff. I was thinking physical.

Meanwhile, Daxson was thinking about moral responsibilities. He was thinking of long-term consequences of choosing artificial hormones such as the pill. He had a hard time rationalizing why it was okay for him to tell me to put something in my body to prevent a natural fertility cycle. He began to question the priest about ethical and moral family planning. We didn’t receive a very sound theological explanation. We were basically told that while artificial means of contracepting were not morally acceptable, the only option offered to us was this vague thing called natural family planning. Without further explanation, we assumed that meant the old rhythm method. We felt a little lost. And everyone we knew was riding along the cultural wave of artificial contraception. That world was beginning to look mighty fine to us except Daxson was still concerned that the pill wasn’t a safe choice for my health. So we waited and hoped something would lead us to the right answer. But our options looked bleak. The old rhythm method (which were were fairly convinced might not work out well since my cycle length seemed to vary) or the host of artificial choices.

Then we were given the option to attend an Engaged Encounter. So we did. And there was a brief session on family planning, which was basically a few short remarks and then the host left a DVD on the counter about Natural Family Planning for anyone to watch who was interested. One other couple lingered behind with us and the four of us sat down to watch the video. It was fascinating. There was an entire method for planning families. Not the old rhythm method. A real, scientific method to plan a family…naturally, morally and 99% effective. I had never heard of this before. NEVER. And I’d been going church since I was a wee infant. Let me re-emphasize…I had NEVER heard of this. Ever. EVER.

I went to visit our local family planning office, where someone taught me to use the Billings Method. But my cycles were now beginning to return to their original state…erratic, sometimes heavy, and very painful. Unfortunately, my cervical mucus wasn’t giving me the confidence that I needed and we were quickly approaching our wedding night. I needed something I felt confident about if we were going to embark on this unconventional method of family planning. I was really ready to dismiss the Church’s teaching and hop back on that cultural train headed to artificial hormone-ville.

And then someone, somewhere, mentioned these beautiful words to me: Sympto-Thermal. Huh? What’s that, I wondered. But the words just sounded like a whisper of hope to my disheartened heart. It’s a method of family planning that is just as effective as the pill and it uses a cross-check of three fertility signs (almost like a back-up for the back-up!). It’s based on charting your cervical mucus, your cervix, and your basal body waking temperature. I knew no one who used the method, so I invested $20 in a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility and I read that book cover to cover, multiple times. And I charted. It was amazing. I began to see correlations between my health and my hormones and my cycle. I could actually see the effects that stress and food and other things had on my cycle. All scientifically charted out.

Then I met my dear friend, Ann. And she introduced me to a deeper world of Sympto-Thermal. She introduced me to the moral responsibilities we carry in marriage (there is always beauty and truth in the Church’s teaching, if we just search enough to find the root of the teaching) as well as the world of nutrition in relation to my cycle. Suddenly, I could see why some of my symptoms were there and I found some simple nutritional fixes for those (other issues weren’t so easily fixed but I have learned that there are ALWAYS options other than the quick-fix that most doctors are ready to prescribe). Ann and her husband, Steve, used to teach for Couple to Couple League (they now teach for NFPI), so we took a series of classes and we were amazed at how incredibly brilliant the entire thing was. Not only did they teach the how of NFP, they taught the why. And I realized, with incredible hindsight, how truly blessed our marriage was because we had chosen Natural Family Planning, instead of an artificial method. I discovered the beauty in the Church’s stand against artificial contraception and for more reasons than meets the eye. It’s like the ten commandments…it’s not meant to place a burden on us, it’s meant to give us freedom…freedom that can only come from accepting God’s goodness, love and mercy.

So now you’re still left wondering…just how has NOT taking the pill affected my marriage, my health and my life? Let’s start with my marriage. It’s apparent in little ways. Like the underlying presence of respect. Daxson respects my body and my fertility. Did you get that? He respects my fertility. Not just my body. Lots of men respect women’s bodies, but their fertility? Most just want the pregnancy issue to disappear so that a healthy sex life remains. But seeing as how my fertility is what makes me a woman, it’s a pretty vital component to my core. A component that I don’t want to hide from nor do I want to feel like it’s anything less than the miracle it truly is. Never once did Daxson try to bury that part of who I am beneath artificial hormones. Instead we follow the rhythm of fertility, abstaining during times of fertility when we aren’t ready to conceive. Also, Daxson argued that if he didn’t want to put an artificial hormone in his body, why should I put one in mine? Considering that all of the 99% effective methods of artificial contraception use hormones (aside from vasectomy and tubal ligation, which would seriously hinder our family making ability!), that seems like a valid argument in and of itself. Also, in times of avoidance, it’s made us appreciate each other in different ways (yep, gentlemen, sex isn’t the only way to show your lady you love her). Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder…oh, wait, that’s supposed to be absence…well abstinence works just fine there, too. And of course, it’s made making babies a whole lot of fun.

As for my health? As already mentioned, charting has made some health issues clear. Charting has helped in various ways throughout the years. It helped us avoid while we tried to figure out the whole “we’re married, now how in the world do we live together?” time of our marriage. It was so simple to decide to conceive…no going off hormones, just a quick flip of the rules. It helped in the ambiguous time after I miscarried. It’s helped make the transition to being fertile while nursing. It’s helped us conceive. It’s helped us avoid. It’s given us peace of mind in ways that I think I take for granted…no worries about what I’m putting into my body, no worries about accidentally forgetting a pill. Recently, I battled with a lot of anxiety and panic related issues. My family doctor strongly encouraged me to take an anti-depressant. I firmly refused and showed him my chart and the clear correlation between my hormones and my anxiety. He suggested the pill as a choice and I chose to wait it out to see if maybe once I stopped nursing as often, perhaps things would settle down. But at least I know when to expect the anxiety and that helps me deal with it. I have confidence in where I am in my cycle and what that means for my fertility.

And as for my life? I have four amazing, PLANNED children. I have a husband that respects and loves me. I have my dignity. I am defined by my femininity and my fertility. In my little corner of the world, where my vocation is being a wife and a mother, it doesn’t get any better than that.

William

March 30, 2015 / Stacie / 2 Comments

An interview with William

First question’s pretty basic…what’s your name and age? “William, but I like to be called Billy and I’m five.”

What’s your favorite color? “Orange and black and blue.” Blue, really? “Yep, and red. Purple when I found out Nabbit was good in Luigi Bros and red is because Mario is red. And orange and blue is from Dusty (in Disney Planes) and well, black. I just naturally like that.”

What’s your favorite book? “Mario Bros Wii U Guide.” Do you have a favorite storybook? “Billy and Blaze. I like the pony named Blaze.”

Do you have a favorite sport? “Of course. Football. Basketball. Baseball. Now I have three favorites.”

What’s your favorite fruit? “Raspberries. Why did you ask?” I guess I should have known that.

What’s your favorite vegetable? (A long pause). Red peppers? “Oh yea, I just didn’t know if that was a vegetable.” Yea, that is kind of confusing…is it a fruit or a vegetable?

What’s your favorite thing to do? “Play the Wii U.” Anything else? “Go to the beach!”

What kind of things do you pray for? “A new baby sister and a new baby brother.”

What’s your favorite thing to do with Mommy? “If I had a choice, I’d do school.”

What’s your favorite thing to do with Daddy? “Play getcha baby!”

How do you know we love you? “Because you make food for me and you read to me and give me extra time on the Wii U.” Joseph asked, ‘How do you know that God loves you?’ “Because he made this beautiful world for me.”

Anything else you’d like to tell us for this interview: “Like what?” Maybe you could describe yourself. “I have very frizzy hair.” Hmm, any adjectives that you can think of that describe you? “I am very handsome, energetic, fun, and creative! Oh and I can do cartwheels!” You are awesome!

The Whole30

March 24, 2015 / Stacie / 1 Comment

It is done. My first Whole30. It was a journey, with all the bumps and hills that come along with a journey, but very much worth it.

I should preface this by telling you that my diet prior to the Whole30 was, what I considered, actually pretty healthy. Just full of grains and legumes and the occasional treat (maybe a handful of chocolate chips or some syrup on my pancakes or my twice a week bowl of Coconut ice cream with all the fixin’s). I gave up dairy almost 6 years ago, when William was born and had allergies. I felt so great (ahem, digestively speaking) that I never went back. I also went through phases of no soy, no egg when William, Andrew and Katie were all a year and under. I don’t really do soy unless it’s in something (and it does show up in quite a bit of processed things) but I do add back in eggs as soon as the babies are able to handle them in my milk. We don’t do a lot of processed foods around here…well, let me clarify. We don’t do a lot of prepackaged, ready-to-go foods except the occasional snack for the times when we’re out and about (which isn’t often!). Those are usually quick snacks like peanut butter crackers or Kashi’s cereal bars. We do eat refined grains like white rice, honey wheat sandwich bread, pasta and (my favorite mid-afternoon pick-me-up snack) cereal (cheerios, raisin bran, shredded wheat and the like).

Daxson was absolutely baffled when I announced my Whole30 plans. He couldn’t see any compelling reason to change my already pretty healthy diet. But I did. I was literally being controlled by that doggone sugar demon and I was ready to slay that beast. While I didn’t eat a lot of sugary treats, I craved them. I thought about them. I walked past the refrigerator thinking about them. In the middle of a school lesson, I’d suddenly find myself dreaming about an apple turnover or a crepe filled with fruit and sugar.

So with three weeks to prepare (I wanted to start my Whole30 right around the onset of Lent), I read It Starts With Food and I scoured my Paleo cookbooks for meals that looked tasty AND easy (I had no desire to fight a food battle with my picky little ones and Daxson was still baffled as to why in the world I would want to give up the doughy goodness of bread). I tried a Paleo meal here and there just as a test to see if I could really survive without a starchy grain at dinner (and I could!). I watched Food, Inc. for a little extra nudge and I talked to people who eat like this 90% of the time. I was inspired. I was motivated. I was ready.

I’m not going to pretend it was easy. My body went through a little shock (no carb flu, though!). I had grumpy days as I tried to adjust to new foods. A lot of it was purely psychological. I had no idea that food had such a hold on me! I hit a rough patch, right around day 9 that lasted until day 13, and it was rough. Really, really rough. In hindsight, I’m not even sure it was the diet, so much as my hormone levels or maybe even the lack of sun and social visits, but either way, it made those days really rough. I threatened to quit. I’m pretty sure I cried. My anxiety levels skyrocketed. I increased my carbs and upped my b-vitamins. And then suddenly, the cloud lifted on the evening of day 13. And oh, what a beautiful view. I suddenly had an endless amount of energy (I’m pretty sure I was told a few times to stop being so peppy!) and I really felt great. All those stories you read about people feeling incredible? Yep, I felt it. And it continued from that point on. The best way to describe it would be to say…you know that jolt you get after a cup of strong coffee? That’s how I felt…all day, every day, but without the jitteriness that goes along with caffeine (and without having to drink that cup of coffee!). No more 2 o’clock slump, no more groggy mornings. Life was good on the downward slope of the Whole30 and I learned so many things.

I learned that everything tastes better with some baby bellas sauteed and spread on top.

I learned to savor my food. I stopped rushing. I sat down and actually chewed. And I found that I actually tasted my food and enjoyed it.

I learned how to tell when I was full. And I learned to stop shoveling in bite after bite (because being over-full so totally sucks).

I learned that some things are just worth waiting for…when I first started, I was too impatient to wait around to heat up the coconut manna. Then one day, I waited. Ecstasy. Completely worth waiting for.

I learned that there is rhythm to be found in the kitchen. I just had to find my rhythm. I found that after a few days, the meal prep became predictable and manageable (still time consuming and tedious, but totally manageable). And the tedious task of washing and chopping and peeling and dicing opened up my mind for pondering and meditating. Two things I hardly do these days. In hindsight, I should have taken more advantage of all that time in the kitchen…an audio book or a podcast would have been a great use of time.

I learned that I can live without sugar…and be happy! And have energy! And sleep well! And make it past the afternoon without needing a boost of energy!

I learned that food is a very mental thing for me. The first few days, I convinced myself that there was no way I was getting the right vitamins and minerals. Really? There I was, eating a rainbow of fruits and veggies and I was convinced that without the bread, the pasta, and the refined-in-a-box snacks, I could not possibly be feeding myself correctly. How messed up is that? I had actually become reliant on assuming that the boxed goods were properly balancing all my nutritional needs when in actuality, I probably wasn’t even absorbing half of them correctly! I obsessed about eating enough calories (something I never think about in my normal day-to-day diet) and I had a really hard time learning to trust my body’s hunger signs. Totally mental. Totally psychological. Totally hard barrier to cross.

I learned that I am just an oral creature. I thought maybe by doing the Whole30 and learning to respond better to my body, I’d quit snacking, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not about the nutrition or the food, I like to snack because it gives me something to do. Like how some people chew gum. Or smoke. Or drink. I just like to be chewing on something yummy. But now my snacks look more like snap peas or sliced bell pepper than the old snacks. And I’m totally fine with that…as long as I’m chewing.

So where to go from here? Well, that’s the question I’m pondering long and hard these days. I don’t want to go back to incessant cravings. I don’t really want to go back to eating tons of grains. I like life in the Whole30 lane, but maybe not this extreme. I don’t like feeling like I have to sacrifice an afternoon outside with the kids or reading a book to Katie so that I can cook yet another meal. I don’t like feeling dread as I think about eating yet another sweet potato (after finding my sweet spot with the carbs, I was afraid to cut back!). I need a little more variety (although as I learned through the Whole30, there is plenty of variety to be found in fruits and veggies as long as I step out on the limb a little). There are things that I miss. Miss, not crave. Like peanut butter and cereal, a bowl of lentils and a glass of almond milk (not the kind I have to make myself, gosh darn it!). I miss eating ham and bacon and pickles (yep, all of those things at my grocery store have sugar in them!). I feel like I’ve trudged down this path and I’m not sure I want to trudge back completely, but I’m also not sure how far I could trudge back even if I wanted to because I know things now that I didn’t know before…like how many things contain sugar and how much better I feel without the sugar and grains. Knowledge is power, but at the same time, ignorance is bliss.

So here I go…beginning tomorrow, I’m free to eat what I want once again. The question is, armed with the knowledge and experience of the last 30 days, what will I choose? The plan, however vague it might sound, is to go slowly. Let my body re-adapt to some of the things I did without and see how I handle it. And if I don’t like the effects? Well, I know I can live without it. The things that I don’t miss (like beans and pasta) will probably be left out. I’m good with that.

Melissa Joulwan’s says in her book Well Fed 2 that “minor transgressions are possible because I make deposits in the good health bank the rest of the time. Every workout, every good night’s sleep, every paleo meal is a deposit, so that every once in a while, I can make withdrawals for a food treat.” Sounds good to me.

Joseph

March 23, 2015 / Stacie / 1 Comment

An interview with Joseph

First question’s pretty basic…what’s your name and age? “My age is 7 and my name is Joseph.”

What’s your favorite color? “That’s easy. Red.”

What’s your favorite book? “Definitely Beast Quest.” Any particular Beast Quest? “Trema, the Earth Lord, Book 29.” Wow, that’s impressive that you even knew the book number. “Well I memorize Beast Quests.” All of them? “Uhh, most of them.” What’s so exciting about Beast Quest? “Well, I like how Tom is fighting all the beasts.” Do you ever pretend you’re Tom? “Ohhh, yea, lots of times.” Tell me about it. “About what?” Pretending to be Tom. “Well, I got this cool sword and shield for Christmas. I use it to pretend I’m Tom. Then I make one of my brothers pretend to be the beast and I fight them.” Do you always win? “Uh, yes, because I tell the brothers kind of what happens in the book and then we act it out and then of course I win. I don’t tell them that Tom wins in the end, but I tell them how to prepare to battle me. Tom always wins.”

Do you have a favorite sport? “Yes, I love baseball. One time I played it with Daddy and he made a big baseball board on the driveway and we had to run on it. It had first base, second base, third base and home. I call home fourth base, though. When it was my turn to be the batter, I hit the ball and then I ran.” (he acts out the entire thing) “If I got to a base, Daddy couldn’t touch me. If he caught me before the base, though, well then I was supposed to lose something, but I forgot what that was. It was a lot of fun. It’s my new favorite sport. At first tennis was, but then I had never played baseball, but now that I’ve played baseball, my favorite is definitely baseball.”

What’s your favorite fruit? “Blueberries.”

What’s your favorite vegetable? “My favorite vegetable…well, that’s a little bit hard for me because I’ve got a lot of favorites. I guess I’d say red pepper. It’s so good. Yep, that’s one of my favorites.”

What’s your favorite thing to do? “Um, I like to play or sit on the couch and read a good book. Like Beast Quest.” When you play, what do you like to play? “I like to play with my brothers. I like to play on the tire swing with Roo and act out Mario Bros with William. I like to bounce on the slackers. I actually like to do a lot of things.” (this whole interview is being done while he’s walking around the room in circles)

Do you like having a little sister? “Oh yes, it’s fun, really. We like to do a lot of things together like play with her babies. I pretend I’m the daddy and she pretends she’s the mommy.”

What kind of things do you pray for? “I pray for Mommy to not lose her temper when she’s on the Whole30, you know, stuff like that.” Have you ever had a prayer answered? “Yea, one time I asked for a baby sister…I just kept praying…and then Katie came!”

What’s your favorite thing to do with Mommy? “Well, I love snuggling and I like doing Grammar with you.”

What’s your favorite thing to do with Daddy? “Um, I like to…” (thinking, with his thumbnail in his mouth) “there are so many things! Oh, I got it…I like to do Little Bear but not when he bends down or gallops.” (Little Bear is a game they play right before bed, based on Richard Scarry’s story about Little Bear…Daxson takes each of the kids, “little bear,” on a piggyback ride and pretends he doesn’t know where they are and they go searching around the house…Dax is known for bending down with a “little bear” on his back to search under beds and beneath furniture.)

How do you know we love you? “Because you do so many nice things for me!” Aww, you noticed! “And because you’re always snuggling at night…you don’t just put the babies down for bed and then go to sleep yourself. You actually take time out of your bed time to come and snuggle us. That’s love.” Yes, my darling, it is!

Catching a Pet

March 2, 2015 / Stacie / 2 Comments

One day, after our picnic lunch, we all laid around watching the birds at the feeder.

Suddenly William was struck with an idea. “Where are you off to?” I asked.

“I think I can lure a bird to me with some bird seed,” he replied.

He waited patiently. No luck.

Then he had another idea. “I need a butterfly net, Mommy.”

William waited patiently with his net to see if he could catch a bird. “I’ve always dreamed of having a pet, Mommy. Today I’m going to catch one for myself.”

He eventually changed his mind. “I’ll try again later…Daddy told me I could probably catch a seagull at the beach if I drop some bread next time I’m there.” Gee, thanks Dax.

Lent

February 26, 2015 / Stacie / 1 Comment

I know I already posted these plans in a Daybook not too long ago, but I wanted to repost our plans here now that Lent is underway…that way you can “see” how our Lent looks.

1. Bury the Alleluia…we do it every year. We have these beautifully painted wooden letters that spell out the word. The day before Ash Wednesday, we sing it, we say it, we chant it…we get it out of our systems. Then we bury it and we fast from it. For those of you who don’t know…during Lent, as a Church, we do not say the word Alleluia. At all. Alleluia is meant to be an Easter word. And so for 40 days, we bury it and we don’t let it slip…then on Easter morning, there is much rejoicing as we reclaim the missing word…we are literally filled with joy as we proclaim Alleluia on Easter!

Everybody grabs a few letters so we can bury our “alleluia!”

We bury our “alleluia” in our Lenten box.

Putting the lid on our “alleluia.” Time to bury it.

We replace the “Alleluia” with the word “repent” to remind us what Lent is all about.

2. Stations of the Cross each Friday. Sometimes we use the DVD to pray the stations, sometimes we pray the stations that line our hallway, sometimes we visit the cemetery and the stations there. We almost always use the book The Story of the Cross to aid us in our devotions. However we do it, we make sure we do it because it is a deeply rooted tradition that allows us the opportunity to meditate on the Way of the Cross and really, is there any better devotion than that during Lent?

3. The Good Shepherd Parable and the Jesus Tree.

4. Our family devotions…this year, we’re going to be using Bringing Lent Home with St. Therese of Lisieux by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle and as a read-aloud for the older boys, Amon’s Adventure.

5. A Calendar Countdown.

6. Our individual sacrifices. We don’t eat meat on Fridays…that’s called for by the Church, but considering the fact that my kids eat whatever is served to them, it doesn’t feel like much of a sacrifice over here (not even to Daxson or I, who usually eat fish on Fridays year-round), so I also ask each of the kids to give up something that’s a big deal for them for the duration of Lent…it could be as simple as juice with dinner or syrup with breakfast. I like it to be tangible, though. (When they make sacrifices like “I’m going to quit whining,” it’s a little hard for kids to “see” that and therefore, they tend to forget about their sacrifice over the course of Lent and they lose sight of the purpose of making a sacrifice…which, of course, is rooted in the idea that Jesus willingly sacrificed his life for us…surely, we can suffer a little during the 40 days of Lent in our own small ways in an effort to grow closer to Him.) Making these small sacrifices is actually a big deal in the spiritual life of children…it forces them to call to mind how incredibly blessed they are each time their sacrifice is repeated. Even though it feels small, to us who are overindulged and spoiled, the act of giving something up…anything, no matter how small, rewires our thinking and makes us grateful for all the many blessings in our life…even the small things in life…juice with dinner or syrup with breakfast. I also ask the older kids to make one positive change in their lives during Lent (this is a sacrifice, too! Changing habits is hard!)…this is usually a little more intangible…maybe to commit to exchanging a good habit for a bad habit or making a commitment to do something that makes them a better person (or a better brother or a better son, etc.).

We all spent weeks (literally) thinking of what we wanted to sacrifice. Then on Ash Wednesday, we sat down together and wrote out our plan.

After coming up with a plan, we wrote our individual sacrifices on slips of paper and did a bit of a sacrificial ceremony. Each child read out their sacrifices, then folded their paper and placed it in our black sacrifice bowl where they will remain for all of Lent.

A few other things I wanted to share: Ash Wednesday is not a holy day of obligation. Since I have lots of littles, I’m a bit nontraditional in that I prefer to celebrate our Ash Wednesday as a family at home in our Domestic Church. We have a container of blessed ashes that we use each year and we follow the readings by using the MagnifiKid!

We also set our Lenten altar on Ash Wednesday. We replace our green ordinary time altar cloth with a purple cloth. We add the Station of the Cross tree and the Station of the Cross eggs to the altar. We place three big nails in the plain wreath (wrapped with a purple ribbon) and place a purple candle in the center. We keep our Bible and rosary box on the table and add a rosary mediation book. Last year Dad made us a beautiful Lenten cross that we fill with six purple candles and each week we light another candle (yep, just like our Advent wreath). I love this addition to our Lenten traditions.

The Backdrop of Our Lives

February 17, 2015 / Stacie / 2 Comments

There is a backdrop in our lives, literally, that might not grab your attention at first glance, but it’s there. It’s my mother, present, in our everyday lives, despite the fact that she’s 200 miles away. How? you might wonder. Through her art – her quilting. Every stitch, it seems, is sewn in love and we drape that love beneath us as often as we can so we can feel her presence even when she’s not really here. We literally roll in it, nap on it, snuggle up with it and feel closer to her through a compilation of threads and fabrics.

This is how I remember my mother throughout my childhood (even though this picture is only a few years old, it’s reminiscent of my childhood):

And with that pose, here is what she can create…

One of the first quilts she made me…

She began a tradition to make each grandchild a quilt and present it to them on their first birthday. First there was Joseph and his John Deere quilt…

Then along came William and a beach themed quilt…

Next was Andrew, with a bug quilt (and by this time, Mom had become an expert on her embroidery machine)…

Finally, Mom had a chance to use some pink! Here’s Katie’s ballerina bear quilt…

Mom made me a quilt for my birthday one year (it’s the New York state star since that is my birthplace). This is the same quilt that I snuggled under every night in my first trimester with the babies when the morning sickness was unbearable and all I wanted was to be close to my mom.

There have been other exciting projects along the way. When I was pregnant with Andrew, for my baby shower, we supplied all the tools and each attendee made a personalized, appliqued quilt block. Mom sewed it all together and quilted it for me.

Mom’s quilt was even there as our backdrop when our family was featured in a local magazine!

When I had a close friend almost lose his life in a helicopter crash, I asked Mom if I organized a prayer quilt…friends and family members would each make a quilt block with each stitch representing a prayer…would she put it together and quilt it for me. Of course, she said yes.

There is the wall hanging she quilted that no Christmas would be complete without…

I see these quilts so often. One thing I can promise is that they are used. They don’t sit up on a shelf, collecting dust. We use them almost every day. It makes my heart glad (and I bet it makes Mom’s heart glad, too!). And Mom’s house is filled with more beautiful pieces of her art (our family’s favorite is the 4th of July quilt…my kids love snuggling under that quilt every night that they sleep at Granny’s!) so the art tour has only just begun…hopefully Mom and Leslie will post more pictures soon!

Thank you, Mom, for sharing your talents and your love with us in such a tangible way. Your art gives our lives a beautiful background to roll and tumble on!

Rooted in love

January 26, 2015 / Stacie / 1 Comment

Sometimes it feels like marriage gets lost amid the kids. Its easy to forget that the whole reason for the incessant demands and chaos is rooted in love. And it is. Truly rooted.

Daxson and I fell in love almost 13 years ago. We were married within a year. We spent our first four years trying to figure out how this whole marriage thing works and then we were blessed with our first child. Then, like clockwork, we welcomed another bundle of joy every two years. We have 4 beautiful children who are complete reflections of the two of us. It is crazy. Every day. And somedays it feels like all Dax and I have time for is to share a smile over little sleeping heads at the end of each day, as we ourselves, drift off to sleep, exhausted at these little years.

Marriage isn’t like falling in love. Marriage requires effort. Renewal. Commitment. Reminders of all that is good. Marriage requires a constant hum to remind ourselves how incredibly beautiful the sacrament truly is. It needs a mantra. Marriage is hard, oh but marriage, when rooted in God, is always good. Not easy, but most certainly good.

Dax is my right hand man, my best friend and my sweet and thoughtful lover. But sometimes I forget. I get caught up in the daily grind…the laundry, the cooking, the schooling and Dax and I literally throw one another a kiss in passing. Some days it feels like we just butt heads…disagreeing over the trivial things that all couples and all parents face. Other days are a steady calm as we just keep this whole crazy family afloat. And then there are days like today when i am sweetly nudged and reminded of how beautiful marriage is and I fall in love all over again and I know that I am truly the luckiest girl alive. And I bask in that knowledge. I soak it up like a woman dying of thirst because the cycle will begin again…the crazy daily family life. Its inevitable…life doesn’t stop for marriage…the trick is to hold it in my hand and renew those falling in love moments whenever I can, no matter how small the moment might seem, to just grab it and hold on tight so that when I am serving his dinner on one of those crazy chaotic days, I can steal a glance at him and remember that he is my root. My stronghold. My love. My life. Because as my wise mother once said, “your kids are only yours for a brief moment but your husband…your husband is yours forever.”

So to my forever husband, I fell in love all over again today over a bubble bath. A hot, candlelit bath drawn especially for me because you love me. But it wasn’t the bath I fell in love with…it was you. Your strong hands and determined spirit. Your gentle almost reverent way of treating Katie. Your rough and tumble attitude toward our boys. That is what I saw when I looked at that bubble bath. It just took a bath to get me to slow down and see all those things. Really, it just doesn’t get better than this…that feeling of falling in love all over again. Tomorrow, I have no doubt, will be back to the crazy, lovely, insanity but for this one moment, I am remembering everything good about this marriage and I am so thankful that it’s you on this journey with me. So until our next falling in love moment, please hold tight to this one and know how very much i am still in love with you.

It all started with dinner at Bennigans…

January 21, 2015 / Stacie / 3 Comments

So I’m not going to get this story exactly right. I’m just not. Time has a funny way of distorting the details and the truth is, back then I was so busy living that I wasn’t really into recording the details. Little did I know that my future would be built on those little details. Just know that this story is accurate, for the most part. Truthfully, I’m not even sure where exactly to start because it seems like there were multiple threads of my life that would eventually intertwine.

To set the stage and give a few minor details…It was the spring of 2002. I was a senior at the university with just a few summer sessions to go before graduation. I had an auditing class at 8 in the morning. I had a tax class at 5:45 in the afternoon, with a guy that I thought was a handsome, foreign tennis player, which it turned out he was not…oh, he was handsome but he was neither foreign (although he was born in Ecuador) or a tennis player (unless you count high school). I was a member of something…some club…and I was responsible for selling raffle tickets. One of my closest friends was Bart, a naval pilot. Now, sit back and let me weave those details together for a delightful story.

“Bart, I have to sell these raffle tickets. Please, oh please, won’t you buy a few?” I begged my friend as we sat eating enchiladas at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

“What are the prizes?” he asked as he scooped up another bite.

“Lavrumgph,” I muttered, my mouth full.

“What?” Bart just stared at me.

I did not want to repeat myself. The prizes included nothing Bart was going to want…a trip to Beaumont, a pampering basket full of goodies that I would love (but he would not!) and the top prize was a basket with a bunch of girlie stuff including a lamp with a lavender lamp shade. I had already spent the morning convincing Dad to buy some tickets and the tickets weren’t cheap, which was making it twice as hard to sell. I still had 20 tickets to sell and being a college student, I didn’t have any extra cash to buy them myself. I had to sell them.

“Please, Bart. Don’t think about the prizes…just think about how you’ll be supporting a university sponsored club.”

“How many tickets do you have left?”

“20.”

“Okay, I’ll buy them.”

“Great! Wait…what? All of them?” This was Bart, after all. There had to be a catch. I looked over to see his devious grin…yep, there was a catch.

“For every ticket I buy, you have to set me up with one of your friends.”

“Seriously, Bart, I don’t even have 20 friends.”

“If you want me to buy them, that’s the condition.”

I was desperate. Surely I could round up 20 friends, or at least 20 girls…or maybe after a few dates, he’d let me off the hook. I was willing to take the risk. I reached across the table and shook his outstretched hand. “Okay. It’s a deal.”

Meanwhile, in the midst of the raffle ticket sale, I was sleeping through every single one of my auditing classes. You know, that 8:00 in the morning class. I tried everything to stay awake. I took a breakfast taco to class. I tried doodling. I took my auditing book to read. No matter what I did, my professor’s voice was a like a sedative. 30 minutes into his lecture and I had drool running down the side of my mouth. Unfortunately for me there were only 8 of us in the class so he definitely noticed the one sleeping student. I was falling behind. Not because I couldn’t keep up with the work…I can read a textbook with the best of them, but there were little things he was lecturing about that I wasn’t getting. And I knew no one in the class. But I did know someone who was taking the same class at a different time.

Enter Daxson.

Dreamy, groovy Daxson. Boy wonder.

Every Tuesday and Thursday I had a tax class at 5:45. I’d be sitting there, putting my last minute answers on my assignment and in would walk handsome, dreamy Daxson. Always just on time. Always prepared. Always ready with the right answer. For some reason, I was convinced that he was a foreign, tennis player (I ruled out foreign after listening to him talk, though). He sat two rows in front of me and a girl named Regina sat between us. Daxson talked to Regina and I talked to Regina, but it seemed that the conversation never involved all three of us. I just needed one excuse to talk to Daxson.

Finally, the day came. Our professor put us into groups and guess who was in my group?! Yep, Daxson. So I might not have told him the part about sleeping in class, but I did tell him that I needed a little help in auditing. And he offered to help.

We started meeting at the library. He helped with auditing while I stared into his dreamy eyes trying to figure out how to get him to stop talking about auditing. So I made up an event. Something to invite him to.

“Hey, a group of us are going to Bennigans for dinner on Thursday. You should totally come.” I rested my chin on my hand as I waited for his response.

“Yeah? That sounds fun.” Perfect. Now to gather, what did I say, oh yes, “a group of us”. I started inviting everyone…it had to look like a legitimate group get together, right? Oh and a quick trip to Target for a new jean skirt, a cute top, and some sandals.

Back to Bart…remember, I sold Bart the 20 tickets. Well he didn’t forget my end of the deal. 20 tickets in exchange for 20 dates. I set him up on some dates. Other times we went out together and I’d introduce him to my friends. He had a complaint about every.single.one.of.them.

“Bart, I’m running out of friends. Stop being so picky.” I nagged one afternoon.

“Don’t let me down…we made a deal. A deal in which I’m supposed to meet 20 of your friends. You owe me…plus the fact that I won that ridiculous lavender lamp shade. Seriously, who thought that should be the first place prize?”

I really was running out of female friends. There was one left. My friend Crystal. She and I had met in a class and we had become friends…the kind of friends that are friendly in class and get together every now and again for coffee and studying. She was super sweet, but so not Bart’s type. She was sweet and pretty and very down to earth. I really didn’t want to drag her into this, but I was running out of options and of course, when I invited Bart to Bennigans, he asked who the lucky candidate would be that night. I caught up with Crystal after class. “Hey Crystal, what are you up to on Thursday night?”

She eyed me suspiciously. “Nothing too much. I’m studying for finals. Why?”

“A group of us are getting together and going to dinner at Bennigans. I thought you might want to join us.”

“And…What are you leaving out?” (I guess our friendship was well established enough that she noticed that I was hesitating.)

“Okay, fine. I have a really close friend. He’s awesome and I wanted to introduce the two of you.”

“A blind date? No thanks.”

“No, no…it’s not a blind date. Really. Totally casual. It’ll be a huge group and I’ll just introduce you to him. You don’t have to hang out all night. Just please come meet him.”

“Tell me about him.”

“Well…let’s see…he’s a naval pilot…”

“A pilot? Good grief! How old is he?”

“Not THAT old. And he’s smart and funny and cute…”

“How old is he exactly?” She asked again and stared at me, waiting for an answer.

“Please,” I was seriously begging at this point. “He’s 30. But it’ll be fun. And I promise. He’s a really cool guy.”

“No, that’s way too old for me!”

“Okay, fine, the truth is, I’m trying to get a group together because I needed an excuse to invite this guy in my tax class out. Do you know who Daxson is?” I paused long enough for her to nod. “I need people there! Please! My sister and her husband will be there along with Monica and Justin and Richard and a whole bunch of other people. It’ll be great…you’ve got to eat and take a break from all that studying and I promise Bart will keep you entertained.” I do not have puppy dog eyes to make myself look sad and endearing, but I tried my best.

“Okay, I guess I can stop by.”

And she did. And there was Bart, with all his charming wit and she fell madly in love. Bart swears she walked in with her cream colored sleeveless top and her “Jesus shoes” and a halo over her head. I accidentally seated the two of them at the end of the table between Andy (who thought Crystal was available) and Kathryn (who thought Bart was there for her delight). Bart spent the evening cutting both Andy and Kathryn off, making it clear they weren’t welcome in the conversation. Finally, fed up with their interference, Bart asked Crystal if she wanted to go get a fruit cup (c’mon Bart, I introduce you to your dream girl and you invite her for a fruit cup…seriously?!) They left together. I didn’t hear from Bart until late the next day (in fact, I was in a panic because I called him at work in the morning to find out how it went and he wasn’t there…Bart NEVER missed work…I guess staying out late, chatting over a fruit cup and then having to part from your one true love can cause you to oversleep!) and it was only to tell me that I was off the hook…he’d found THE ONE and I could finally stop setting him up on dates.

And that was the beginning of Daxson and me, as well. The next week Daxson invited me with a group of his friends to Concan and I figured if we were going on a trip together, I’d better get to know him better. So we spent as much time studying auditing as possible and then he made a bet with me…loser had to pay for dinner…pretty sure the bet had to do with the auditing exam but either way, the bet made dinner with him a sure thing so, of course, I took the bet. No idea who won because, the truth is, he was way too much of a gentleman to let me pay anyways. So our first official date (just the two of us!) was to dinner at Macaroni Grill and to see a movie. We went down to the seawall after the movie for a walk and by the end of the night, I just knew. This was it.

So two weddings later (mine and Daxson’s first…exactly one year and two days after our first date, which was exactly 5 days after the Bennigans gathering…Bart & Crystal’s wedding followed ours by 6 months) there are now seven beautiful children between the four of us. And to think, it all started with that dinner at Bennigans. This is the stuff that Hollywood makes movies out of. Here’s to good friends, beautiful Bennigan love stories, and each of our happily ever afters.