Daybook

Outside my window…it’s oh so cold!

I am thinking…this doesn’t look like an “I love solids!” face.

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I am remembering…last week when I accidentally knocked Joseph’s loose front tooth out while brushing his teeth.  After it fell out, he cried and when I asked why he was crying, he said he didn’t like the way the gap felt in his mouth.  He changed his mind after the tooth fairy came to visit.

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I am thankful…for a little sunshine, warm coats, and the chance to spend some time outside.

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In the refrigerator…flan made with Grandma Nury to celebrate the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  Mmm, mmm, mmm!

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I am wearing…black pants and a pink Gap t-shirt.  Short sleeved.   It’s warm and toasty in here.

I am creating…a post about Advent…now let’s see if I can actually get it done and posted sometime soon.

I am going…to miss the days of Superman and his cape…it looks like he’s been replaced by Buzz Lightyear.

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I am inspired…to get my camera out a little more often because little baby pictures are just too fun.

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I am readingThe Book Thief by Markus Zusak.

I am looking forward to…the feast of St. Lucy.  Since Lucy means light, it’s a perfect opportunity to take the kids out for a drive to see the lights at night. 

In our learning room…we are doing our Advent plans.  A little Tomie dePaola, a little Jesse Tree, some Holy Heroes stuff, and a whole lot of preparing our hearts for the coming of Christ.

Around the house…gift making, gift decorating, gift giving…it feels so good to give!

One of my favorite things…my very own little Santa.

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A peek into my day

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Please visit The Simple Woman’s Daybook for more daybook entries.

Words

Whoever once said, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” must not have had a 6 year old because “I hate you, Mommy,” hurts…regardless of whether or not he actually means it.

Some days my bright eyed little 6 year old is full of praise.  “You’re the best mommy!”  “Mommy, you make the most delicious meals.”  “Mommy, I love you.”  “Mommy, I want to live near you always, so we can always snuggle…I can even build my house right next door so we’re never far from each other.”   Other days my little boy is not so kind.  Sometimes I am shouted at.  Sometimes the words pass by, muttered under his breath.  I am verbally kicked.  Sometimes repeatedly.  “I hate you, Mommy.”  “I’m running away.”  “You’re the worst mommy.”  Ouch.  My heart sighs heavily.

When Daxson is the target, he just brushes it off.  He advises me to do the same, “He’s just a kid.  He doesn’t really mean it.”  I realize that’s probably true.  Most ugly things are said in the heat of the moment, whether we’re a kid or not.  We get angry, we blow up, we say things we often later regret.  But that’s no excuse, because we leave, in our wake, a hurting heart.  Beneath that person we’ve just verbally pummeled, there’s a vulnerable soul, craving affection and acceptance.  Our words, in all their mighty power, have the ability to completely break a person down.

Yesterday my feet had barely hit the floor before the first attack began.  “I HATE you, Mommy.  Really.  I do.  I HATE you.  I am running away.  Far, far away.  Away from you.”  Please don’t misunderstand.  My child doesn’t just spout off verbal attacks for the fun of it.  There’s always a trigger.  Yesterday morning it was because he forgot a chore so he didn’t earn his sticker.  But a lost sticker isn’t worth beating someone into the ground.  It’s just not.  Not when you’re 6.  Not when you’re 26.  Not when you’re 56.  My whole day felt off kilter from that point on.  I just couldn’t shake his words.  I got grumpier and grumpier.  How could I possibly let the words of a little six year old dictate my entire day?  I felt like it was completely out of control.  But I was hurting.  Because words hurt.

Words are powerful.  They are, most likely, the most powerful weapon we possess.  They reach deep into our souls where they are  remembered and reflected upon.  Words can build us up, but they can just as quickly knock us down.  Words bring us joy and gratitude.  Words bring sadness and despair.  They mark beginnings, they end wars.  They create.  They inspire.  They can destroy.

I spent last night thinking about the power of words.  I thought about the words that I use when I am frustrated.  I thought about the outbursts I have sometimes when I am angry.  I am not taking the blame, completely, for my son’s words, but I do realize that I am a shareholder in his reactions.  I know that my children mimic me…for better, for worse.  And while it’s easy to want to change my children, it’s harder to change myself.  But it looks like perhaps Joseph and I both need to remember the power of words.

I know I could employ Daxson’s philosophy and just blow it off, but if I blow off his hurtful words today, what will he say tomorrow to try to get a better reaction?  What will he begin saying to his friends, his brothers, the homeless man on the side of the road?  It is my job to teach empathy.  To teach kindness.  To teach him that when we possess such a powerful tool, we are called to use it wisely and appropriately.

Today I sat down with my little six year old.  And I told him how hurtful his words were.  Maybe he didn’t realize that he possessed that kind of power.  I told him how it’s so easy to just spout off when we’re angry, without really thinking about what we’re saying or who we might be hurting.  I reemphasized how much his words had hurt me.  He listened.  He absorbed each of my carefully thought out words.  He didn’t respond.  But I could tell I had planted a seed.

This afternoon I saw the seed begin to grow.  I saw him get angry and ready to explode.  But he bit his tongue.  Not one single hurtful word escaped his lips.  And I thought that maybe, just maybe he’s learning to control the power of his words.

{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

While You Were Healing…

Today is a big day…Mom is finally going home.  She has been in the hospital for quite some time.  Six long weeks to be exact.  Six weeks wasn’t part of the plan so each day brought all of us anxiety laced with hope as we waited for God to heal what needed to be healed.  And He did heal her.  He has shown great mercy and rewarded all of our hope.

While she was busy healing, I missed her.  I missed our daily chats.  I missed her gentle encouragement.  I missed her cheery voice.  I just missed my dear sweet friend.  Despite the fact that life seemed on hold for her, for us life kept moving forward.  Mostly because it just doesn’t stop when there are four thriving children propelling life forward.  Our six weeks were filled with ordinary moments and milestones mixed in.

Mom, this post is for you…here are the highlights of the last six weeks for us.  These are all the things that happened…while you were healing.

We went trick or treating.  At 4:00 Halloween afternoon, there was a major panic.  William discovered that his boots had a little mold growing on them and, “Mommy, Superman’s boots DO NOT have black on the toes.”  A can of red spray paint saved the day!  Joseph was the Great Pumpkin; William was Superman; Andrew was a dog; Katie was happy just to go along for the ride.  We took the wagon, four happy little children, and three pumpkin buckets and set off through the neighborhood…we came back with the wagon, three tired but excited children, one sleeping baby and three pumpkin buckets filled to the brim with an insane amount of candy.

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I read.  Then I read some more.  I saved all of them for you to read.

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I celebrated my 33rd birthday.  We had devil’s food cupcakes with The Pioneer Woman’s delicious mocha frosting.  (I promise I’ll make you a fresh batch whenever you want!)

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Joseph and William had their first camping experience (although as I may have already mentioned, it came to an end when, at 9:30 at night, William was convinced that a bear might attack in the middle of the night…in our backyard.)  The first camping experience was complete with a fire, s’mores, and a tent.

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We visited the pumpkin patch.  The kids romped joyfully amongst the bright orange pumpkins, each choosing a small pumpkin of his own.  William tested his pumpkin to see if it could possibly be used as a ball.  He found out that wasn’t such a great idea…we ate pumpkin for dinner that night.

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Katie gained a little over a pound.  She’s a whopping 16 1/2 lbs.

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We went through at least one box of band-aids.  Apparently, little boys get lots of owies and the only way to make it feel better is with a band-aid.

We prayed.  A lot.

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I finally opened the Baptism gift you sent for Katie and added it to our prayer table.  It’s beautiful.  Thank you.

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Andrew discovered the word “hate.”  Now he hates everything.  “I hate lentils.”  “I hate that blanket.”  “I hate ice cream.”  Really?

I sorted and organized and sorted and organized and somehow managed to get out all the cold weather clothes.

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We accidentally released a butterfly from the butterfly house at the Botanical Gardens.  And felt incredibly guilty all day long.

We watched a colony of ants dig a complex series of tunnels.  Then we released them into the backyard (and ran away from them as fast as possible, assuming they were probably a bit angry with us for having them locked up for so long).

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I did some Christmas shopping.

We played.  A lot.

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We finally finished studying Ancient Egypt in Joseph’s history lessons.  We know a whole lot about how to make a mummy and build a pyramid, just in case you’re in the market for either service.

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Katie learned to roll…and roll…and roll.  Not really sure where she’s going, but she’s rolling to get there.

We prayed the miracle rosary for you.  Joseph refused to fall asleep each time we prayed it.  He wanted to be sure that the entire rosary was said for the sake of Grandma Cindy’s healing.

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I got a haircut.

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I did some canning.  And then I did some blogging about canning.

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Dax started golfing again.   A little more balance has returned to our lives since baby girl joined us.

I watched The Pioneer Woman for the first time and desperately wished I could call you to tell you what I thought (I loved her!).

I talked to Dad every day.  I thirsted for any bit of information I could get out of him and I thrived on his hope and faith.

We took many nature walks.

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I went for a pedicure.

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I got out the sewing machine and made a wall hanging.  I used pink thread on an orange pumpkin wall hanging.  I didn’t dare try to change the bobbin so I used it just as you left it this summer.  Thank you for leaving that bobbin in there!

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We went clothes shopping for longer pants for Joseph.  Again.  That boy just grows overnight, it seems.

We thanked God for our blessings…we especially thanked Him for you.

I downloaded this really cool app on my phone called 2nd Vote.  The only problem is that now I don’t want to shop anywhere except a few select stores.  I didn’t realize how liberal most of the stores are.

Katie wore tights for the first time.

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I baked a really bizarre loaf of bread and imagined myself as the Duchess from A Duchess Bakes a Cake.  Then I remembered how you used to read that book to me when I was little and I missed you.

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Dax had to report for jury duty.  Twice.

I deleted the onslaught of junk email in my box and laughed when I imagined how full your box must be getting.

We slept.  And prayed for you to have peaceful dreams.

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I did pile after pile of laundry.  Bet you didn’t miss that task.

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Katie had her shots.

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Andrew learned to correctly pronounce William.  It’s no longer Wimmy.  We’re still working on Joseph…it’s still Ro Ro.

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Joseph, inspired by watching me voraciously read for my book club, decided to start his own book club.  He had a meeting in October for the book Library Mouse and the kids made their own books.  Then he had a November meeting for Molly’s Pilgrim and they made clothespin dolls.  His is still a work in progress, but you would be very impressed with his creativity.

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I finally sat down to try to figure out all the inner workings of my camera and photoshop.  I think I made it to page 10 and nodded off.  I’ll keep trying.

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I talked to Les every day.  And I was so grateful to have a sister.

The Halloween books were packed away.  Thanksgiving books were pulled out.

I did the usual picking up at the end of each day.

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Dad made the Thanksgiving menu.  I drooled over it.

We visited the water plant and were amazed to learn how water is processed.

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We watched our meal worms change into beetles.

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I tried not to cry.

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I remembered that you always tell me, “this too shall pass” and I believed it with my whole heart.

I missed you, Mom.

I thanked God for his mercy and compassion…for filling my heart with hope…for filling yours with inspiration, perseverance, and purpose.  I thanked God, often, for Dad and for Les…for their strength, their faith, their hope.  It was all so palpable it was living and it sustained me.

Today I thank God for healing you and for bringing you home.  I thank Him for giving me another day to share with you and I thank Him for blessing me with you…my mom, my friend.  I love you!

Daybook

Outside my window…it’s absolutely beautiful.  Clear skies, lots of sunshine, and little boys running wild.  Absolutely beautiful.

I am thinking…chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers…whoever came up with that combination was brilliant!  Here are Joseph and William enjoying their first campfire and s’mores.  As for their first campout…well, that lasted until 9:30, when both boys were still wide awake.  William was convinced, absolutely convinced, that a bear was going to get him in his sleep.  In our backyard.

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I am remembering…our visit to the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago.

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I am thankful…for an afternoon this week with one of my favorite people, Ms. B.  There are people who inspire us just by being.  They just exude joy and gratitude and inspiration.  Ms. B is one of those people.

In the refrigerator…all the ingredients to make some stuffed red peppers.  I’m winging this one…I don’t do that often (I’m a dedicated recipe follower), but I’m imagining what I want them to taste like.  Let’s see if I can make them taste that way.

I am wearing…gray shorts and a blue shirt.  It’s November and it was high 70s today.  Sometimes I wish I lived somewhere with four seasons, but then I remember that we get to play outside comfortably all year round…I stopped wishing.

I am creating…a grocery list.

I am going…to have to take Joseph shopping soon.  He’s outgrown all of his pants.  Again.

I am inspired…by all the people on facebook who are taking the time this month to name all the things they are thankful for.  I think I need to re-visit the idea of One Thousand Gifts and the task of keeping a list of those things I’m grateful for.

I am reading…Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly.  I don’t usually read history books because most are pretty dry and put me to sleep, but this one has me on the edge of my seat.

On my iPodSimply Charlotte Mason’s Reaching Past the Fear

I am looking forward to…stress free holidays (do those exist?)

In our learning room…finally opened up our lab set and did an experiment.

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Around the house…trying to sort clothes to pull out the cold weather clothing (although this could be in vain since I’m wondering if cold weather is ever really coming this year).  Really, someone out there must have a better organization system for organizing kids clothing.  It’s a huge task to get out each season’s clothes.  Please share your method with me!

I am ponderingsilence.

I am praying…for Mom’s recovery and our little friend, Levi, and his mama.

One of my favorite things…board games (I know this picture is a little blurry, but I had to share because if you look hard, you can see Katie is holding a card, too!)

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Please visit The Simple Woman’s Daybook for more daybook entries.

{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Why I Can

You’re probably reading this with the great expectation of finding out all I am capable of doing.  No, I meant that title quite literally.  I’m going to tell you why, despite Daxson’s insistence that I’ve lost all sanity when I do it, I can.  I mean good, old-fashioned canning.  You know, the kind with the water bath canner, the glass mason jars, the old screw top lids.  Canning.  The art of preserving food.

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I only usually do it once a year.  Sometimes twice.  It’s a big production.  It takes up a good part of the day (okay, it takes up the whole day if you consider the number of times I stop to nurse the baby or change a diaper or attend to another need around the house or as was the case this year, to run to the grocery store to pick up any missing ingredients) and it takes over the kitchen completely (maybe next year, despite the chaos, I’ll remember to snap a few pictures during the process so you can see how much I am not kidding).  It’s actually a little daunting.  I wake up on the morning I’ve planned to can and I ask myself again if I’m sure I’m up for it.  Usually I dread it a little.  Now for those of you that don’t can, don’t get me wrong.  There is absolutely nothing difficult about canning.  It’s just time consuming.  Especially if you’re making something besides jam because usually there’s some prep work involved.

This year my dear father-in-law sent over tons of cucumbers (strangely, he didn’t even plan to plant cucumbers…the seed packet was marked zucchini, but these are most definitely cucumbers).  First, I decided to make a recipe called Cucumber Relish (which I now know is really another name for sweet pickle relish…good to know…I’m not really sure what I thought I was making but I didn’t think it was going to be sweet pickle relish since it was called cucumber relish).  “Cucumber relish” requires lots of finely dicing and chopping ingredients.  So here’s what my day looked like:  Dice and chop.  Dice and chop.  Change a diaper.  Dice and chop.  Feed the baby.  Dice and chop.  Time for lunch.  Dice and chop.  Let it set for four hours.  Four hours?  That’s plenty of time to prepare some more things to can.  Plus that only used four of the monster cucumbers (I still had ten left!)  So I scrounged up some blackberries and made jam (yeah, I know, what does that have to do with all those cucumbers?  Absolutely nothing.  I just thought blackberry jam sounded delicious).  Then I had to decide what to make with the leftover cucumbers.  Dill relish.  Quick trip to the grocery store for the missing ingredients only to return home and realize that it was going to take forever to prepare the ingredients since I have a teeny, tiny food processor.  Decided to try making refrigerator dill pickles…much faster (although now I have another grocery trip in my future to return all the items for making dill relish).  Pickles in the refrigerator.  Time to can jam.  Jam canned.  Finish making cucumber relish.  Can the relish.  Done.

By this point, my children had now been left to play on their own for the better part of the day, dinner was no where to be seen, and I was exhausted.  Daxson wandered out into the kitchen, saw the mess, made a face, and asked me for the third time that day, “And tell me again, why do you can?  You do realize you can buy all this same stuff at the store, right?  Save yourself all the time and effort.”  Usually I respond with a quick, “yeah, but homemade tastes better.”  This time I was silent.  In my exhausted state of being, I was wondering why do I can?

Now 24 hours after the final top sealed and I’ve had time to think about it, I know why I can.  Because there is a final product.  Something to show for my hard work.  Most things I do on a daily basis don’t have a final product.  If I cook, it’s quickly consumed.  If I make the beds, no one notices and within 12 hours, the beds are unmade once again.  I do pile after pile of laundry and at the end of the day, there are more clothes in the hamper.  Even my children are works in progress.  Like the great cathedrals, I do not see a finished product.  But canning?  Well, canning gives me pretty jars to hold.  Canning gives me a homemade gift to give to dear friends and family.  The jars sit on the counter top (until we’re tired of staring at them) for all to see the great accomplishment of the day.  In a world of unfinished products, canning just feels good.

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{this moment}

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual.   A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Daybook

Outside my window…night has fallen.  The temperatures have not.  Seriously.  Where. is. fall???

I am thinkingthis video is great!  It definitely captures life with boys.

I am thankful…the simple things keep these boys happy.  Tonight it was paper airplanes…such squeals of delight.

In the refrigerator…The Pioneer Woman’s Sunday Night Stew…yep, I know it’s only Thursday, but I just couldn’t wait.  (an added bonus…it’s a gluten free and easily adapted to being an allergen free recipe!)

I am wearing…a pink t-shirt and gray shorts.

I am creating…a grocery list.  That’s the extent of my creativity these days.

I am inspired…by this story and this one, too, and I am loving the thoughts shared here.

I am readingThe 10 Habits of Happy Mothers by Meg Meeker.  I’m on habit #4.  Still reflecting on habit #1.

On my iPod…where is my iPod?  Time to add some fresh encouragement to it…any suggestions?

I am looking forward to…a visit with my little animal loving nephew soon. 

In our learning room…we are studying insects so I figured what better way to study them than to have some live ones to watch.  This thing is awesome!  Everyone is completely captivated by it (including Daxson).

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I am pondering…control and faith and the thin line between the two.

I am praying…for Mom and a speedy recovery.

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One of my favorite things…all of us in one picture…and all of us looking at the camera.

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A peek into my day

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Please visit The Simple Woman’s Daybook for more daybook entries.

Accepting Help

Throughout the bible there is a recurring theme that we should rely on God for help.  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”  (Matthew 7:7)  And again Jesus promises to help us with our burdens if we but ask, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”  (Matthew 12:28-30).

That’s all well and good, but we are human.  We tend to lack faith.  We tend to lay down our crosses and just give up.  God realized that.  He realized how quickly we, as humans, tend to feel beaten down, deserted, alone in the face of trial.  Even Jesus felt it.  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  (Matthew 27:46).

We know there is a Heavenly God, but sometimes we need a human touch.

There is a line in the bible that fills my heart with joy.  It’s a line that at first glance seems so insignificant that you have probably read it a million times, but in a rush to get on with the story, you’ve probably never stopped to think about what lies behind the words.  It’s in Luke, chapter 23, verse 26.  “As they led him away they took hold of a certain Simon, a Cyrenian, who was coming in from the country; and after laying the cross on him, they made him carry it behind Jesus.”  Do you know that passage?  That one little line in the bible is where Jesus tells us we’re not meant to make this journey alone.  We are meant to accept help…not just offer it.

As Christians, we are called to give. “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me…” (Matthew 25:35).   It is often easy to give.  It’s human nature to help, to be kind, to lend a hand when needed.  It’s not so easy to accept help.  We raise our children to be independent.  We take pride in doing things on our own.  We like imagining ourselves as superheroes, juggling as many balls as we can.  But even Jesus accepted help…right there on the way to his death…just when he was feeling forsaken, God sent a human hand to help ease the burden.  This is pivotal…here Jesus is showing that we, as Christians, are not only called to give but to accept.  And to accept with humility.  To accept without argument.  Just to accept.

Jesus is God’s Son.  He is one of three persons in the Holy Trinity.  Jesus is God made man.  He has major power.  We know that.  We watched as he performed miracles, so we know that he could have picked up that cross and sprinted to Golgotha.  But he didn’t.  He struggled.  He fell.  Not once.  Three times.  He struggled…the entire way.  And when the soldiers called to Simon, Jesus humbly accepted help.  Notice there’s no verse in the bible that tells how Jesus tried to deny the help.  No verse that tells how Jesus was prideful, claiming that he didn’t really need the help.  Nope, none of that.  It simply says, “they made him carry it behind Jesus.”  Jesus accepted, without a word, without a struggle.  How often can you say the same thing?