Homeschooling can sometimes feel a bit lonely.  While surrounded by bright little minds all day long, with never a lack for conversation, I’m clearly not pining away for human contact.  No, I’m talking about lonely in a bigger sense.  There’s a big world out there and going against contemporary culture can easily leave one feeling lonely and like an outcast.

Add to that the idea to school according to Charlotte Mason’s principles and the world gets a bit lonelier mostly because people don’t understand what you’re doing.  They can’t fathom why you are obsessing about living books (what’s wrong with the latest contemporary fad in twaddle-like reading, they wonder) or habit training (aww, let up on them a little, they implore) or nature study (isn’t it a bit hot to send your kids outside in this deep Texas heat, they question).  They don’t understand that your home is a domestic church where contemporary culture attacks on all fronts.  They don’t understand that it’s not just about the hours of official schooling that matter because, as you know, Education is an Atmosphere, a Discipline, a Life.  But they don’t know that.  So it’s lonely because, despite the conviction in your heart, you’re on a road less traveled.

Until that blessed moment when you manage to find a person who is like-minded.  Then suddenly your little corner of the world brightens and the road doesn’t seem nearly so lonely.  Now you’ve got support.  Encouragement.  Accountability.  Understanding.

I consider myself incredibly blessed.  While toeing the line between the world of contemporary culture and a CM inspired culture, and trying to find a balance, I have always had my sister, Leslie, my sister-in-law, Jessica, and a dear friend, Lori, close by who all homeschool and are undeniably supportive.  Their children are the threads that are woven into my children’s memories.  They encourage me, understand me and support me.  They boost me up when I need it and their words are a healing salve on the days when this journey of mine feels impossible.

But one can never have enough support.  Especially when traveling a lonely road.

Back in June I was blessed, again, and in abundance, with finding not just one local Charlotte Mason homeschooling family but a whole group of them.  How incredibly lucky was that?  I imagine luck had nothing to do with it.  It was more of an answered prayer.

I joined the group’s Mom’s Study Group that meets once a month (we’re using Brandy Vencel’s Start Here CM guide).  I don’t even know how to describe the amazing group of women that I have the privilege to meet with and learn from every month.  This is a group of homeschooling moms who aren’t just satisfied with good enough.  Following CM is a bit of a challenge for anyone…it involves a whole lot of self-evaluation especially in habit training (it’s hard to train a little person in good habits until you look in the mirror and see where some of those bad habits are forming).  I love that these women keep it real and they are all open to learning and growing.  I love that I have someone to be accountable to.  I love that I have a whole group of moms who understand the trials and tribulations of the road less traveled.  I’m lucky to get to grow along with them. 

Then during our first week of school, we joined up with the CM group at the park for a book club discussion on the book Babe: The Gallant Pig (which the boys seriously loved!) and then had a grand time playing at the park.

Joey came home inspired by the book and made a Tangram lesson to share with the other kids.

I came home, inspired not by the women this time, but by the children.  These were children immersed in the same culture my children are, so there was a connection.  An understanding.  Like looking in the mirror.  They don’t know it yet, as my kids are still so little, but one day in the future, they may feel the sting of social nonacceptance and if that day ever comes, I want them to feel the weight of an army of like-minded people standing at their side.  They need to be surrounded by other kids who march to the beat of their own drums.  Who read classic stories and find pleasure in doing so.  Who can quote Shakespeare because it’s beautiful not because they were forced to memorize it.  Who can identify the lark of a bird.  Who can sit quietly and draw the beauty that God has set before them.  Who can understand that their education is not just about the books, but it’s about the Atmosphere, the Discipline, the Life.     

This fall, we managed to snag a spot in the group’s co-op.  We attended our first meeting last week.  Success in our house is not measured by grades or test results, but rather by the sheer enjoyment and attainment of knowledge.  Joey and William have not stopped talking about the co-op.  The beauty of the Mona Lisa.  The delightful idea that Mozart was 8 when he composed his 1st symphony.  The thrill of reciting lines from Hamlet with other Shakespeare lovers.  The experience of sitting with friends to draw their found objects in nature.  The opportunity they had to relish the beauty.  To observe the details.  To listen attentively with patience and respect.  Success is a beautiful thing.  I’m so grateful that we have an entire community of like-minded people to experience it with.              Just when I thought my cup could not possibly get any fuller, our CM leader arranged for a world-renowned Charlotte Mason expert to give a series of lectures to our group about Miss Mason and her educational theories and practices.  Dr. Benjamin Bernier is an enlightening speaker who clearly knows his subject well.  I loved the inside look into Charlotte Mason and the times in which she lived. Dr. Bernier was kind enough to allow us to peek through his personal collection of Charlotte Mason books.  To say I was inspired is a bit of an understatement. 

Dr. Bernier shared a personal letter of Charlotte Mason’s with us and while inspired by the entire letter, I was mesmerized by this particular quote that she shared from her friend Mr. Huston, “Choose no friends but those whose society you would like to enjoy through Eternity.”  I am thankful to be surrounded by so many people, old friends and new, whose society I would thoroughly enjoy through Eternity. 

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I used to be a good traveler.  At least as far as the actual flying went.  I would get on the plane, find my seat and then I’d buckle up and relax.  I’d grab my book and immerse myself in a good story.  With the plane high above the Earth, soaring through the clouds, I’d often close my eyes and doze off.  For a natural born worrier, it was nice to have a few hours worry-free.

It seems almost ironic that something so big could give me relief from a life of worry.  The plane could crash at any moment.  Terrorists could be on board.  The pilot could have a heart attack.  But none of those things registered in my mind because THEY WERE OUT OF MY CONTROL.  Once I stepped foot on that plane, there wasn’t anything I could control anymore.  I was at the mercy of the pilot, the weather, God, whatever being was, at that point, greater than me.  I relaxed and let go.

Parenting isn’t so easy.

Often, I offer up a prayer to God and then just as quickly, I snatch it back.  Surely, I, as a mother, need to help God out.  God often humors me, allowing me to rest in the illusion that I have some control over the fate of my children.  But more often than not, God gently reminds me that it’s in His control.  Not mine.  His children.  Not mine.  His divine plan.  Certainly not mine.

Six years ago, William had a cyst on his eye that had to be removed.  The surgery itself was no big deal but, because of his age, it required general anesthesia.  I fretted.  I prayed for the cyst to just disappear.  I worried.  God gently led me through that experience and He was kind enough (as He always is) to offer his unending support, a fatherly embrace to fall into when it felt overwhelming.  And I clung.  Until I could offer prayers of thanksgiving after the surgery, I clung to the reality that God has a will and it is not within my mothering powers to always be in control.

It’s easy to forget that reality.

Now fast forward 6 years.  After discovering a bit of an abnormality with William’s, ahem, boy parts, Dax took him into the ER one Saturday afternoon.  I didn’t worry (okay, I worried a little).  I tried my best to let God handle this one.  I prayed.  After 4 hours of waiting and testing and waiting some more, they returned home.  He had an inguinal hernia with a hydrocele which would need to be repaired and drained.

So now 6 years after his first surgery (to the exact day), William was going to have surgery again.  Again, it was a minor surgery, but the thought of general anesthesia is enough to make any parent panic.  Plus this surgery presented quite a few more possible complications than his last one did.

After two weeks of setting up appointments, visiting with the surgeon and answering the millions of questions my naturally curious children have, I thought we were ready for the surgery.  By this point, I remembered my reality and I wasn’t worried.  I knew if I tried hard enough, I could find something to worry about.  But then I remembered flying and letting go and how good it felt to just let God handle it.  So that’s what I did.

There’s a plan for each of our lives and while it may not always feel easy or right, it’s His plan.  He’s the great author and the story is always so much nicer when we allow the author unrestricted access to the storyline.

William, on the other hand, is just beginning down the long, paved path of worry.  His mind works overtime trying to explain everything that happens and the reason for it.  His heart wants to trust, but his mind wants to understand.

He spent the days playing and the nights worrying.  He worried about the possible complications.  He worried about the recovery process.  He worried about how he got it.  He worried about whether he’d get it again.  You name it, he worried about it.

The week before his surgery, William requested a visit to confession and a blessing from the priest.  He received both.  His worries lessened.

The day before September 1st, William was nervous, though.  So very nervous.  He was worried.  I reminded him that if he wanted peace, there was only one place to go…straight to the Prince of Peace.  He mulled it over and quietly asked to be taken to Adoration to visit our Lord.  He knelt down and quietly prayed, “Dear Jesus, please guide me to have no worries and no complications.  Please bless the doctors’ hands.  Help me to give it all to You, Jesus.  Amen.”  And he was filled with peace.  No more worries.  No more anxiety.  We returned home, peaceful, in anticipation of the next day.

That night he asked for his prayer blanket that he had taken into surgery with him 6 years before.  I had told him he could take something else soft with him to surgery if he’d like, but he replied that what he really wanted to take wasn’t soft.  I asked what it was that he wanted to take.  “My rosary,” he replied.  Granny offered to sew a pocket onto his blanket and we found a plastic rosary to put inside.  He was ready.

Thursday morning came early.  William woke up at the touch of my hand, quickly crawling out of bed, eager to get dressed and be on his way.  We arrived at day surgery and were quickly processed and put in a room.  William changed into his gown and snuggled under his prayer blanket.  Chipper, alert and peaceful.  I took my cue from him.  He was peaceful so I was peaceful.  He was trusting so I was trusting.  He was relaxed so I was relaxed.

They wheeled him over to the holding area where he was given his happy medicine and we visited with the anesthesiologist.  For a minute, as I listened to Dr. Velleman explain the anesthesiology procedure, doubt began to nibble away its way in.  Then William pulled out his rosary to show Dr. Velleman and Dr. Velleman, in return, showed William his 4-Way Cross that was hidden beneath his shirt.  An inspired moment.  My fears faded away.

William’s doctor came in after that. William had written a note to Dr. Cruz-Diaz the night before explaining to him that if he noticed William’s two missing teeth, he should not worry.  William was convinced that Dr. Cruz-Diaz would assume he knocked them out and they’d be frantically searching the OR trying to find them.  I handed Dr. Cruz-Diaz the letter and in his typical humor, he read it very seriously, making a show to the OR nurses surrounding him that they should all be aware of the tooth situation.  William giggled.  My heart smiled.

And then, just like that, it was time.  As I gave him a kiss, I let go.  This wasn’t my deal anymore.  From this point on, it was just like being on an airplane again.  It was out of my control.  Lucky for me, I personally know the man in charge up there and I was more than willing to let go of the control I so naturally crave (I am human to an embarrassing degree).

Surgery went fine.  Hydrocele is drained.  Hernia is repaired.  Recovery is happening day by day.  I can’t predict the future.  Maybe there will be complications. Maybe there will be other surgeries, more serious ones.  Maybe there won’t.  Either way, I’m ready to surrender.  Turns out flying is good for my soul.

*An important note: It helped tremendously (with both this surgery and his last) to have an amazing team at Driscoll Children’s Hospital, from the check-in receptionist to the nurses (both the nurses in the OR and the recovery room) to the doctors, at our side, guiding us through the entire ordeal.  The team of OR nurses were both kind and considerate, and patient enough to answer my few remaining questions.  Dr. Velleman was soft-spoken and reassuring as he explained the entire process, his faith shining through in his regard for the patient as an individual.  Dr. Cruz-Diaz had an amazing bedside manner, joking with William, which instantly put him at ease.  He was patient and thorough in his explanation and consultation after the surgery, with a respect for privacy.  Many of the doctors came straight into the waiting room and explained the surgery in front of whoever was waiting there…I appreciated that Dr. Cruz-Diaz made use of the Patient-Surgeon Consultation Room.  William’s Recovery Room nurse, Mindy, was amazing!  She was kind and compassionate and so cheerful.  She went out of her way to be sure William was comfortable and well taken care of.  Her smile lit up the room and made William feel special.  No hospital procedure is successful without a team of compassionate caregivers and, lucky for us, ours was bursting with compassion!

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I imagine by now you are thinking “wow, she wasn’t kidding when she said she had an insane amount of summer photos.”  You can’t say you weren’t warned ; )  If you missed the first four parts, click here, here, here or here.  You can now breathe a sigh of relief…this is it.

In July, we had a delightful dinner with Yaya and Grandpa Larry.  The kids used to call her Grandma Nury, but over the summer I listened to the book Home Front on audio and the grandmother was called Yaya (which is Greek for Grandma).  If you listen to that book, you’ll know exactly why I began to think of Nury as Yaya…it sounded just like her and the character fit her perfectly.  The things Yaya said and did in that book were exactly the things Nury would have said or done.  I was telling the kids about it and I asked them if they agreed and thought Grandma Nury seemed more like a yaya than grandma.  They agreed and suggested we call her Yaya.  So they do.  And she loves it.  And it seriously fits her.  (Don’t bother asking about the strange picture of Larry and Dax…I figure if they want to be silly for the picture then it’s fair game for posting.) 

I got a bee in my bonnet in July and decided, just a few weeks before school was set to begin, to rearrange our entire house.  I wanted to bring the schoolroom back into the house (it’s been out in Daxson’s office suite for the last few years), move the couch-bed out into the office suite (for guests), and move the majority of the toys somewhere besides the schoolroom.  I dragged Jessica into my spontaneous plan and being the good friend that she is, she agreed to help.  We started with the couch-bed.  Not being professional movers (and apparently having no one wise around), we never thought to tie the bed together.  So we got it flipped on its side and managed to get it into the laundry room (which is really a tiny hallway entry from the back door) and dang it if the bed didn’t pop open.  I was stuck between the bed and the door when it happened and I panicked.  All of a sudden my breathing went shallow and I was trapped trying to imagine how in the world we were going to get out.  Suddenly it dawned on me that I wasn’t trapped…I could simply walk out the back door.  Whew!  With that crisis over in my head, I was able to focus on a plan.  I ran to get a rope while Jessica (who may be leading a secret life as Hercules) managed to shove the bed back into place.  Jessica did some fancy knot tying, we breathed a sigh of relief and finished the rest of the moving without anymore drama.  Oh, except the part where I asked Jessica to help me move all the books off of one of the bookshelves in the old schoolroom.  Her face was priceless when she realized that I had all the books double stacked.

After everything was moved, Dax sacrificed a day (although really I think he did it in an effort to save the walls and to make sure everything was hung just so, as I tend to be an eye-baller when it comes to hanging things whereas he is extremely accurate and everything is perfect) to hang all of my millions of things back on the walls.  I really tried my best to make the school area look more like just another part of our house (in trying to be more in tune with Charlotte Mason) but it must just be in my blood to make a schoolroom look like a schoolroom.  At the end of the moving and hanging, Daxson said (thinking he was being encouraging), “Well, it’s really beginning to look like a schoolroom!”  I stifled a scream and accepted the room’s destiny.

So we went from this…To this… Plus a bookshelf in the dining room…It didn’t happen as smoothly as those pictures show.  There was a whole lot of mess and stress in between (good grief, I have accumulated a lot of um, stuff, over the years!)…

July included a few well-child check-ups which then led to a false alarm with Andrew.  His pediatrician heard a split in his heartbeat when we went in for his check-up and she could hear it in all four chambers, so just to be on the safe side, she sent him on to see the cardiologist.  (There may have been a few moments between her recommendation and our visit that I may have needlessly panicked.)  After listening to his heart, the cardiologist agreed that there was a split so he did an ultrasound and whew! it came out perfect.  Katie visited the dentist for the first time.  All of my kids LOVE going to the dentist.  They have a friendly, fun dental hygienist (who is also very pretty!), which makes the trip something to look forward to.  Katie was no different than the boys.  She hopped right up on her seat and opened wide.  Her favorite part?  Choosing a toy from the toy bin, of course. 

 

We had a surprise visitor in July!  Alex came down with Granny and Pappy for a day to surprise the boys.  They were thrilled!  William had cashed in some allowance on a foam plane so we headed to the park to try it out… There was also some wild splashing in the pool and some serious Lego time… A few last random July events included wild bedhead, watching the Honda get towed (it’s fixed and fine now), fitting Katie’s hair into a ponytail, Andrew learning that 5 might just be too little for a pocketknife, and some cowboy time. 

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I warned you there would be lots of photos.  I tried to put the rest of the summer photos in this one post but there’s no way you would have stuck with me to the end.  So be prepared: there are more to come ; ) If you missed parts one, two, or three, just click here, here, or here.  Otherwise, read on…

July brought with it a visit from our dear friends in San Antonio.  We met Jen, Tim, Hannah, and Rebecca last Spring Break (2015) at the beach.  Jen and Tim’s delightful chatty children befriended our chatty children.  Instant friendship.  Joey and William asked after the girls left if they could please write them letters.  So they did and a pen-pal relationship was born.  The friendship naturally extended to the adults, as well.  I look forward to and adore our visits.  Jen is a wealth of knowledge on politics, which I love to soak up, and Tim and I never run out of education topics to discuss, both of us being involved in the education of children, him in the public school world, me in the homeschool community.  The kids delight in one another’s company, so it’s just a lovely visit each time they come down for their Spring Break and Summer beach fix.  This year’s visit included Jen’s birthday which we were honored to celebrate with her (and surprisingly, I have very few photos of!), a trip out to our local university for a bike ride, and a few days at the beach.  Then they unexpectedly popped back down for a day visit in August.  It was exactly what we needed after our first week of school…a beach date with friends that we love spending time with.  Our visit to the University…

The beach… Our August visit…

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I warned you that I took an insane amount of photos over the summer.  Believe me yet?  If you’d like to see the first part (summer birthdays) or the second part (June), head here or here.  Otherwise, here are a few memories from our June/July trip to Austin…

On our way up to Austin, we met the Johnsons at the Snake Farm (whose name is a bit deceptive as it also has lions, exotic birds, and a petting zoo just to name a few).

We got to Austin just in time to see the Carnicoms as they passed through on their move from El Paso back to Ohio.  The kids loved the chance to play with Quinn again and to smooch on sweet baby Jaxyn.  Oh and Jay now ranks on my boys’ list of super cool people as he managed to catch a turtle from the duck pond. 

Leslie took us to McKinney Roughs Nature Park.  We took a little hike along one of the many paths there.  It was beautiful!

We spent some serious time swimming, of course. Granny and Pappy joined us a few times which the kids adored.  

The Johnsons invited us to join them at a family night event out at the Ladybird Wildflower Center.  That’s one of our favorite places in the area, so we were excited to join them.  We saw birds and snakes and furs and all kinds of things that delight little boys. 

Back in May, I had an early miscarriage.  I wanted to memorialize the loss so we headed out to Our Lady of the Rosary cemetery in Georgetown where our other miscarriage is buried along with my sister’s little angels.  We named the baby Anna Jeanne and when her stone arrives, we’ll add her in to the garden of babies. 

We never miss an opportunity for ice cream at Amy’s. 

William made himself a grappling hook which he used to climb the wall in my parents backyard.  From there he monitored traffic (and is positive he saw the real Carmen Sandiego escape). 

There was a pool party at NIGHT…seriously, my kids were ecstatic at the idea of staying up after dark.  We’re a wild bunch, wouldn’t you say? 

For the 4th of July, we headed to Georgetown for the festivities (we were 15 minutes late and managed to miss the entire parade!).  Georgetown is such an idyllic American town…perfect for 4th of July events.   

Due to the ease (and low cost!) of digital photography, I managed to take an insane amount of photos over the summer.  If you’d like to see the first part (summer birthdays), head here.  Otherwise, here are a few more highlights of our summer…

Father’s Day:  We always love a reason to celebrate Daxson and all the reasons the kids love him.  This year they worked for a few weeks on filling in this nifty little book that we found at Target (called Amazing Dad) and they had fun presenting it to him.  Of course his favorites were the grown-up treats and the kids’ favorites were the Star Wars books.  June is always full of graduations.  Lots of new beginnings and clipping wings.  This year was a milestone for me as my students that I taught ten years ago at IWA walked the graduation stage and while I wish them all good luck and joyful college days, the one graduate that took center stage in my mind was my godson, Jake, in Kingston, New York.  I still remember (with extreme clarity!) celebrating his 1st birthday the summer I lived with him and his parents.  It seems nearly impossible to imagine that he has crossed the adult threshold and will be navigating the world of college this year, dorms, responsibility and all!  As I couldn’t be there to celebrate the momentous occasion, I thoughtfully prepared a college prep package unlike any other.  I packaged up four books that I thought he should read along his college journey, marking when he should read each one and what advice I thought each offered.  Here’s a little peek into his package, the books I chose and the reasons why… June was the beginning of hot days, pool fun, and beach trips.  The pool started off on the patio, but as it began to lean with the slight incline, it became a bigger project.  Part of the yard was dug up, leveled and covered with crushed granite.  Now it rests quite happily in what used to be our grassy knoll, leveled, flat and full of nice, cool water.

June also included a weekly trip to the pet store as Joey received a Fat-Tailed African Gecko for his birthday.  It was a gift from Auntie Romy and Uncle Lister (which Dax and I ironically suggested) and Joey was THRILLED…for the first few weeks.  Then he realized that not only was his little friend nocturnal, but he had been given the most shy lizard ever.  The poor little guy (named Joey Jr.) was frightened to death of us.  He only came out of his hidey hole when it was completely dark and no one was around (we know this because Dax and I tried, unsuccessfully, to watch him catch crickets in the quiet of the night but as soon as he sensed our presence, even in the dark!, he scampered back to his hiding spot).  After a few weeks of catching wily crickets and scooping poop, Joey seemed less enchanted with his new friend, although he never complained about the work, only about the fact that his pet was a bit un-interactive.  Daxson seemed a bit overwhelmed with the lizard (even though he wasn’t the one carting the kids to the pet store to stock up on crickets nor was he in charge of scooping poop); he didn’t like the smell and he hated the lack of action (plus Dax has a thing against caged animals).  Daxson casually mentioned that a dog would have been a bit more entertaining and that was all it took to plant the seed.  I’m pretty sure Dax didn’t actually want to replace the lizard with a dog; it was more of a nudge to see the futility of owning a lizard, but Joey outsmarted him.  Joey insisted that if he were to return the lizard (because apparently you can do that at PetCo), it was on the condition that he could research dog breeds and use the money from the aquarium and lizard to get himself a dog.  Desperate to be rid of the lizard, Dax agreed.  So guess what…Joey is spending his free-time researching dog breeds.  I’m pretty sure he won’t let this go, so I see a dog in our very near future. So while he may have returned the original gift, Joey is extremely thankful to Auntie Romy and Uncle Lister, as they have managed to open the door to getting a dog (a door which was firmly shut until the lizard came along).  Funny how when faced with one thing (such as a lizard), something else suddenly seems much lovelier than it ever originally did (like owning a dog).

And while Joey Jr. was cute, no one seems to miss him much (oh wait, what was there to miss…we never got to see him while he was here!).  Our advice:  either get a leopard spotted gecko (like my nephew has which is cute and social) or skip the lizard and find a more interactive pet when you’ve got four overly enthusiastic pet loving kids.  On the plus side, all of the kids enjoyed our trips to the pet store…pretty sure they’re all in love with the hamsters just like I was as a kid! Other random June highlights:  June is fig month and while we still enjoyed the fruits of Larry’s labor, we actually managed to grow enough figs ourselves this year to enjoy, William was sent to the gastroenterologist (where he got to observe some fun construction while waiting to be seen) to sort out his gastro issues (with success), William and Andrew declared their love for the little girls that live behind us and the kids enjoyed a little target practice with Grandpa Larry and Dax. 

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