I’m just going to say it.  You’re an adult and can take it (but I’m guessing 90% of kids out there would be horrified to know this)…we continue schooling all summer long.  We don’t school quite as intensively as we do during the year, but there are some things like reading and math that we just keep chugging along with…we don’t lose what we’ve learned and it keeps us in a routine.  We also usually add in a few unit studies and keep learning about our Faith.  We like it that way.  No, really, we do.  Everyone thrives and there’s joy in routine.  We still follow our sabbath schooling (so 6 weeks of school followed by 1 week off) so there’s still plenty of opportunities for vacation and play.  (The pictures sprinkled throughout here are from our Tinklerlab which you’ll read about soon!)

Our 2015 summer schooling kicked off a few weeks ago and it’s been awesome.  Here’s what we’re up to and what’s in all of our reading baskets…

Daily Routine (the same routine we follow during the school year):  Required reading (completely their choice during the summer), math fact practice, and piano practice

Faith: Our summer faith lessons are simply stories from Angel Food.  The boys continue to read the Bible with Daxson each morning over coffee.

World History:  We’re finishing up our Medieval World History from this year, so a couple of times a week, we’re listening to Jim Weiss as he reads from Story of the World Volume 2.  No major activities or follow-up plans unless something really tickles our fancy.  Just listening and narrating and keeping it very simple.

Grammar:  We’re revisiting our Grammar plans from last summer although I’m not sure we’ll have enough time to cover punctuation like we did last summer. This summer we’re continuing to use Thursday as our letter writing day and on Fridays we’ve been using the Storymatic cards to create lots of fun stories.

Taken from Summer Plans 2014:  We are using Ruth Heller’s books and Word Fun for our grammar lessons this summer.  One day each week we’re reading a different Ruth Heller book (nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, interjections and conjunctions, pronouns) and then later in the week, we’re reading the corresponding section from Word Fun.  The Ruth Heller books are awesome…packed full of tons of information and so fun to read.  After reading the stories, the boys are making a page of that part of speech to add to their lesson book.  Toward the end we’ll be using Punctuation Celebration and Eats, Shoots,&  Leaves for a quick review of punctuation.

Math:  We finished up our Math plans during the Spring, so now it’s just a matter of keeping things fresh and well-practiced.  In past years, we’ve switched to other grade appropriate curriculum like Miquon or Singapore.  This summer is no different.  Joseph is using Math Mammoth (to help solidify mental math and math facts in his head) and William is switching between his Singapore and Miquon.  We’re also thoroughly enjoying Life of Fred and our Math book basket which is full of all sorts of gems like Stuart J. Murphy books.

Other favorite books in our Math book basket (aside from Stuart J. Murphy books) include:  Tiger Math; Roman Numerals I to MM; The King’s Chessboard; Round Up: A Texas Numbers Book; How Big is a Foot?; One Woolly Wombat; The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Museum Shapes; Cookie’s Week; How Long or How Wide?; Spaghetti and Meatballs for All; Sea Shapes; is it red? is it yellow? is it blue?; The Best of Times; The Mission of Addition; The Doorbell Rang; Math for All Seasons; Anno’s Magic Seeds; The Action of Subtraction; Math Fables; Zero; One; If You Made a Million; Great Estimations; Greater Estimations; Emily’s First 100 Days of School; City by Numbers; Sea Sums; The Grapes of Math; One Hundred Hungry Ants; A Remainder of One; Pigs will be Pigs; Sir Cumference and the First Round Table; Sir Cumference and the Sword in the Cone; Sir Cumference and the Off-the-Charts Desserts; Anno’s Mysterious Multiplying Jar; Perfect Square; The Button Box; Math-terpieces; How Much is a Million?; Anno’s Counting Book; Ten Little Rubber Ducks; Ten Little Caterpillars; Shapes, Shapes, Shapes; 100 Days of School; 100 Animals on Parade; 100 Snowmen

Poetry Tea Time:  We’re making a real effort at poetry this summer since it always seems to get bumped during the year.  Each day at snack time, we pull out the poetry placemats (plain placemats that my sister-in-law whipped together for us), the fabric pens, our poetry book and we enjoy some poetry over snack and tea (or lemonade or milk or whatever sounds good).  The kids listen and when something touches their heart or makes them giggle, they can add the words or lines to their placemat, creating a keepsake of poetry for themselves.  This has been met with wild approval and much enthusiasm!

Manners:  We’re reviewing manners this summer by learning how not be be a Goop.  Hysterical yet effective.  Whatever works…I’ll take it.

Tinkerlab:  This seems to be the highlight of our summer plans.  We decided to study inventors this summer and I set up a Tinkerlab.  It’s been fabulous fun.

We start out each day by reading a book about an inventor and then some days I guide them in creating something fun, while other days I just open up the Tinkerlab and let them create whatever they come up with.

Here are the guides we’re using…Gizmos & Gadgets; Tinkerlab: A Hands On Guide for Little Inventors; 150+ Screen Free Activities;  101 Kids Activities that are the Bestest, Funnest Ever!

Here are the inventor books we’ve been reading…Andrew Henry’s Meadow; What Do You Do with an Idea?; Now and Ben; Timeless Thomas; Levi Strauss Gets a Bright Idea; So You Want to be an Inventor?; Pop! The Invention of Bubble Gum; Balloons over Broadway; Marvelous Mattie; Hooray for Inventors; It’s a Snap! George Eastman’s First Photograph; Mistakes that Worked; The Boy who Invented TV; Queen of Inventions; Mr. Ferris & His Wheel; Leonardo and the Flying Boy; Uh-oh Leonardo!; I is for Idea; Going Up! Elisha Otis’s Trip to the Top; Incredible Inventions; The Man Who Made Time Travel; Toys! Amazing Stories Behind Some Great Inventions; Usborne’s See Inside How Things Work; The Wright Brothers; A Child’s First Library of Learning: How Things Work and Inventions.

Joseph and William are both required to keep an Invention Journal and to update it several times a week…their journals are brimming with ideas, inventions, and each of their own personalities.  After brainstorming the first week, Joseph designed his own Mario board game.  It’s surprisingly entertaining, easy to play and fun!

Our Tinkerlab includes all kinds of recycled materials and odds and ends (rubber bands, clothespins, scraps of fabric, ribbons and thread, pom poms, etc).  A lot of the supplies are left out and anyone can use them at anytime (there are all the basics for creating with paper…glue, markers, scissors, rulers, tape, etc).  I keep some tools (like the hot glue gun, sewing needles and the hand drill) as well as the kitchen ingredients (like cornstarch) and the color changing tablets out of kids’ reach, but during Tinkerlab time, they’re free to ask for any supplies they may need that are not easily accessible.  For outdoor use only (I’m only so brave), the kids have a tool kit and a pile of wood as well as a limited supply of nails and screws (only given out when an adult is present…again, my bravery has its limits!)…

We have a couple of kits that we’ve been using, as well: Recycled Robots; Tin Can Robot; Kaleidoscope making kit.

Some of the highlights so far include goop and flubber, bouncing balloon balls and toe paint, sidewalk paint and a teepee for the backyard.  Already we’re thinking like inventors over here!

Book Detectives Book Club: After reading Deconstructing Penguins and seeing how Heidi at Mt. Hope Chronicles put Goldstone’s suggestions into action, I was inspired to start a small book club for the kids for the summer (we’re meeting every other week and our meetings last about an hour; our group is made up of 6 to 10 year olds and there’s around 8 to 12 kids per meeting).  It’s been a smashing success…it’s truly amazing to listen to the kids discuss denouement and protagonist and antagonist as if it’s something they talk about everyday.  I’m using the story chart from Teaching from the Classics as well as some of the conversation pointers in Deconstructing Penguins to guide the discussions.  Later this summer, we may trip to do an ANI chart from the Lost Tools of Writing, as Heidi suggests.  So far we’ve analyzed The Bear that Wasn’t and Brave Irene.

I spent the past two days cleaning out the storage closet.  And I discovered, much to my chagrin, that I’m a bit of a baby stuff hoarder. I discovered that we have a LOT of baby stuff.  A LOT.  Seriously, the amount of baby clothing we’ve acquired could clothe an entire village of African babies.  And I just sorted through all this a year or so ago so I figure if you could’ve seen the storage closet before that clean-out, you might have submitted an application to that hoarding show on my behalf.

Eight years ago when I was pregnant with Joseph and I went to Babies R Us to register, I walked down the aisle with that price gun and I honestly thought to myself, “I NEED this,” and I happily clicked away.  Oh if only I could have told my younger self how much of that I did NOT actually need.  After making it through Joseph’s first two years, I was a bit wiser and before William arrived, I did a major clean-out of the baby stuff (although I’m pretty sure I didn’t touch the clothing at that point).  Then along came Andrew and in an effort to keep up with two preschoolers, I ditched a whole lot more stuff but might have gone a little overboard on my stroller collection.  Then Katie arrived and I weeded out boy clothes (I mean, really, I learned that I had no patience for dressing a baby in cute outfits as a daily event…my babies have all been born in the heat of the Texas summer so onesies worked just fine with a few cute outfits for any occasions we might have; my rule of thumb now is that until 3 to 6 months, the pants and the shoes and the button down shirts really have no place in my storage closet).

I sat down after cleaning out the closet with a cup of tea (and no baby attached to me!) and reflected.  I was actually a little embarrassed to think of all the things that have passed through my hands (whether I’ve used it or just passed it along) in light of the fact that there are women in 3rd world countries that strap their babies to their back to go work in the fields…I’m guessing there aren’t extensive baby wardrobes and bins of baby toys.  I get the whole idea that babies only need your loving arms, but I’m also a bit realistic (dinner still has to be cooked and laundry still has to be done) and so I revel in usefulness and sometimes even convenience but I also value simplicity.  Looking back, if I could’ve just visited with that young naive new mom that I was eight years ago, here’s the list I would’ve handed her…(please keep in mind, I breastfed exclusively, co-slept and used cloth diapers, so keep that in mind when viewing my list…you won’t find bottles or pacifiers, cribs or nursery accessories on here)

Baby Clothing:

36 infant prefolds, 12 diaper covers and cloth wipes: Keep in mind that the more diapers you have, the less often you have to wash, however, the diapers do need to be washed when the pail fills up, so don’t go overboard here.  Baby poop tends to be a bit, uh-hem, messy, hence the number of diaper covers (as baby grows, you won’t need as many diaper covers and less diapers will probably be sufficient).  If you go with cloth diapers, just go with cloth wipes…you’re already doing the laundry, just throw those in with the diapers.  And if you’re going with cloth diapering, don’t forget a pail liner and a wetbag for when you’re out and about.

I know they make lots of fancy cloth diapers these days and if that’s your thing and your budget is endless, then enjoy!  Personally, even after trying out all-in-ones and pocket diapers and the trim bamboo liners they make nowadays, I still prefer my good old-fashioned prefolds (no pins required!).  They’re inexpensive, extremely durable and I have never had the experience of a messy, need to change all the clothes poop explosion (well, that’s not completely true…the blowouts we’ve experienced have always happened with disposables!)  I linked to the OsoCozy prefolds, but we’ve also had great experience with Bummis prefolds and Grovias prefolds.  As for diaper covers, it’s your preference: snaps or velcro.  I tend to prefer the snaps, but we have lots of velcro that we like, too!  My favorite covers are Bummi’s Whisper wraps.  As for cloth wipes, I’m not a big fan of flannel and we’ve had some bad experiences with wipes that feel so soft but they almost seem to repel water, so shop around and read the reviews.  I do love the Grovia wipes.  Two of my favorite diaper shops are Nicki’s Diapers and Mom’s Milk Boutique.

For diaper cream, we only use Triple Paste.  We started off with some of the other creams and while they seemed fine, the one that really worked when we had serious diaper rash (thanks to a few bouts of allergy related issues), the only one that solved the problem was the Triple Paste (recommended by the kids’ GI doc).

clothing: My recommendation here is KEEP IT SIMPLE.  Really.  No baby cares about cute pants or a matching cardigan.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that elastic waistband must feel like a ton of pressure on an already sometimes gassy baby and the cardigan is just awkward.  Stick to onesies (whether the traditional onesie or a one piece romper or even a dress with a diaper cover) and accessorize with socks, mittens, and hairbows (if it’s a girl of course!)  Don’t go crazy on the amount you buy…those itty bitty babies grow fast and before you know it, you’ll be squeezing him into the next size up.  If it’s cold or baby needs some extra warmth, use Baby Legs or just swaddle that baby in a blanket!  My preferred brand?  Carter‘s.  Their stuff lasts, it’s cute, it’s sized as expected and if you use a coupon or wait for a sale, it’s totally reasonable.  Oh and the shoes?  Really?  I have yet to meet a walking baby.  You’ll probably want a small pile of receiving blankets to swaddle and wrap that baby up and we did use the the gowns with a few of them (they’re super handy at diaper changing time!) but we were never big fans of the sleep sacks (might be because just the thought of them invokes a sense of claustrophobia in me).

Baby Gear:

Baby Beco:  There are two things that fall into an “I cannot live without this” baby gear category…the Beco is one of them.  This beautiful little carrier gave me freedom to move and chase little ones and chop veggies for dinner.  I cannot imagine how in the world I survived without this….yes, I am that dramatic about this carrier (it’s the only one that didn’t leave my back aching by the end of the day…even Dax wore it and didn’t complain).  It looks like their design has changed (my strap don’t cross in the back), but I promise, this is one carrier that is worth swooning over.  I have also used the Moby Wrap, the Maya Wrap, and a few others that I’m failing to remember the brand…Beco is my absolute favorite.

bouncer:  Here’s the other item in my “I cannot live without this” baby gear category.  I’m not putting a link here because ours is eight years old and isn’t sold anymore, but I’ll give you this piece of advice…simple is better.  You don’t need to pay top dollar for this (in fact, both of ours came from a consignment shop in excellent condition…pretty sure we didn’t pay over $15 per bouncer)…I promise your baby really doesn’t care if it sings or flashes colors at him.  He only cares if you can put your foot on the stand and bounce it or if you can switch that sweet little vibrator on (that vibrator makes it possible for me to put a sleeping baby in it and turn it on then like a whirlwind, I can zoom around the house tidying up, tossing laundry in, and getting dinner in the oven…all while baby sleeps in the bouncer).

a baby bath, a baby bath cushion:  That’s two different items there.  First we always used a separate baby bath for the little bitty ones (here’s a link to one although ours didn’t have a sling, but it looks similar to ours and I imagine it works just as well).  Then when they were a little bigger, we used that totally simple baby bath cushion and seriously loved it.  Don’t be overwhelmed by the options out there (who knew they could add so many bells and whistles to a simple bath)…keep it simple.

a highchair:  We have just a plain old fashioned wooden highchair.  No bells, no whistles.  It doesn’t recline or have a height adjustment.  And it worked beautifully for four children.

a travel system:  You don’t NEED this.  You could get by with the infant car seat (or even a rear facing adjustable car seat) and a stroller but this is one of those things that made my life a little more convenient.  I liked having a car seat that hooked right onto a stroller especially for the times when the baby fell asleep on the way to somewhere and I didn’t want to have to unstrap from the car seat to move to the stroller.  It made shopping and times when I didn’t want a carrier on, convenient.  My only regret?  I must have bought the world’s largest travel system…it was the size of a yacht (although the advantage to having a yacht size stroller is that you can do some serious grocery shopping without having to get a cart!).  If I had to do it again, I’d go midsize.

A note to moms with additional little ones: A sit n stand really is a dream come true…our infant car seat attaches to the front of ours and then one kid can sit and one kid can stand…that’s 3 kids on one stroller!…this is how errands were possible when Andrew was a baby.  Just be sure that you check with sit-n-stand to see if your infant car seat is compatible.

a boppy:  My breastfeeding friend.  It really did provide great support, especially when nursing in bed.  We have multiple boppys (I got tired of lugging them around with me so I left one at each end of the house and one at my parents).  I love that they’re supportive and washable.

These might be nice to have:

a hand pump: I kept this on hand for plugged ducts and the hormone induced panic of “oh my gosh, what if something happens to me and I don’t have any stored milk.”  When I did pump to store, I used the Medela bags that hung from my hand pump.  If you actually need to pump larger quantities, then you probably want to get something a little fancier (as in, electric).

a nursing cover and burp cloths:  A baby blanket works just fine when you’re in a pinch, but it really is nice to have a cover made for nursing.  My favorite?  The Hooter Hider.  And burp cloths are a must-have.  I’m not picky about the burp cloths…if they can soak up a bit of spit up, then I’m good.

a cradle: I did use this with a few of them during the day…sometimes as a changing station, sometimes as a spot to put a napping baby.  Cradles only last as long as your baby cannot pull himself up, so keep that in mind.  Mine has wheels so it made it handy for moving from room to room.  If you find yourself wishing for a cradle, aside from the cradle mattress, you might want to add a cradle bumper, some sheets and a mattress cover to your list.  I think with William, I had a cradle mobile, but eventually I realized that those babies would much rather prefer to stare at a doting sibling than fish going round and round.  A changing table is nice to have, too, but totally not essential (a bed or the floor works just as well).  It’s nice to have everything organized on it.  Be sure to get a nice pad for it that has a strap.  I had a beautiful changing table gifted to me, but I’m not sure I would have spent the money on it.

a swing:  I have a love/hate relationship with the swing.  First of all, it’s not an essential.  Two of mine have used it, two have not.  Some kids like it, some kids don’t (you don’t know which kind of baby you’ve got, so don’t spend a fortune…you could get a baby that doesn’t like it!).  I love that the swing we had could swing front to back or side to side.  I hated that it went through batteries like nobody’s business.  I loved that it sometimes lulled the fussy ones to sleep.  I hated that one of mine got so attached to the swing that we were still using it until he got so heavy that the poor swing couldn’t move!  I can’t provide a link to ours because I don’t see ours anywhere (we’ve had ours a long time and we bought it used) but it’s similar to the Fisher Price cradle and swing.  And when that baby hits 6 months?  Definitely invest in an outdoor baby swing.  Worth.every.penny.

Sophie the giraffe: I’m not big on baby toys.  But I love Sophie, as have my babies.  Her ears are just irresistible to little budding teeth.

Baby Signing Times:  I should probably list this as an essential, but I know not everyone promotes DVDs for babies, so I’ll list it as a nice to have, but I’ll tell you that teaching your baby how to sign will help as your baby gets older and wants so badly to communicate.  It really is beautiful to see your 9 month old show you a sign and you totally understand it and avoid the whole frustration of communicating with a little person.  All of ours have learned sign language (Joseph started with the original Signing Times series because he was pre-baby signing times) and I have seen great benefits thanks to the hard work of the folks over at Two Little Hands Production.  Even now all of my kids sit captivated for Rachel and the Treeschoolers, their preschool line.

Nosefrida:  While I wish your baby happy health and I know you’ll be praying that each illness passes you by, it will still inevitably happen.  Aside from a thermometer, I find the Nosefrida essential.  I get that it looks gross.  Trust me.  I’m a bona fide germaphobe over here, but this thing is truly awesome and you don’t have to worry that you’re going to suck those germs in…the filters really do work.

This list is not meant to be exhaustive…I’ve used other things than what’s listed here (like a pair of baby nail clippers and a tummy mat!) but these are the things I found most useful and helpful.

Here’s wishing you and your baby happiness!  Don’t let the excitement of all things new and shiny at Babies R Us clout your good judgement…people have been raising babies for, well a long time, and most of these new things aren’t necessary.  Choose what’s useful.  Choose what’s helpful.  But don’t lose sight of what’s important!  Happy choosing!

Dear Katie,

Happy birthday sweet girl…you’re two!  You are bursting with energy, bubbling with enthusiasm and full of all the inquisitiveness and wonder of being two.

It’s quite different having a girl around here.  I’m used to rough and tumble boys.  Swords and guns and blocks and cars.  You offer us a glimpse of a softer side to humanity.  You’re the first on the scene when someone is hurt.  You intuitively know how to comfort anyone who’s crying…you offer a hug and a kiss and the boys watch through tears as you trace your closed fist around your chest, signing to them that you’re sorry.  You make everyone feel better with your gentle touch.

You love dressing up.  You love to put on your high heels and parade around the house.  You like skirts, but hate dresses.  You love shoes.  Any shoes.  All shoes.  Especially boots.  You like tights and socks, but you hate hair accessories…hairbands and hats only last seconds on your head.  You tolerate helmets…you even make wearing a helmet look fashionable.

You love to look at yourself.  You smile to yourself, laugh at yourself and sometimes just admire yourself.  (We admire you, too!)

You like dolls and purses and little tiny toys (you know, the ones that get caught in the couch and under our feet).  You like to line things up just so on the windowsill.  All in a line.  Perfectly arranged.  You like things neat and orderly (considering that this might dramatically change during your teen years, I thought that warranted a comment here and now).  Unlike the boys, you naturally like to pick up your toys and put them all away when you’re done.

You love playing outdoors.  You love blowing bubbles, mixing sand and water, running with the boys and swinging “higher! higher!”  You’re favorite outdoor place is the beach.  You laugh at the waves and giggle at the wildlife.  However, you do tend to cringe at the sight of any bug and you cover your eyes when you hear thunder, claiming it “sceerches” you (that’s Katie talk for “scares”).

You love art.  Paint.  Crayons.  Markers.  Dough.  Mud.  You never shy away from a mess…in fact, you revel in it.  You literally cover your hands with some gooey, sticky medium and then you squish your fingers together as if it’s the most magical thing in the world.

When I start to wash the vegetables or sigh dramatically at the stack of dishes that need to be washed, I hear the scraping of wooden chair legs on our tile floor.  Soon I see your little head pop up beside me at the bar.  And you beg to help.  Really…you want to help.  You want to be a part of this adult world of mine.  You offer assistance in washing dishes, cleaning floors, scrubbing toilets, folding laundry.  And I take you up on your offer every.single.time.  I like having you near me and I  like having your help.

You don’t talk much yet.  Your sentences still consist of very few words put together haphazardly.  Things like “throw ball”, “bug here”, “look boys!” You may not talk much, but you’re taking it all in.  You love to read (your favorite book being Busy Timmy right now) and you love Rachel and the Treeschoolers.  You like to sing and dance (especially to the Dixie Chicks and Taylor Swift) and if there’s a mat in sight, you are quick to show us how you can do a forward roll.

You absolutely adore your Daddy.  You call him “di-ya” and you giggle just at the sight of him, knowing he’s ready to tickle you and chase you around the house.    Your brothers enjoy your company, eager to read to you, play with you or simply snuggle with you.  You like to do whatever the boys are doing and you hold your own quite well.

You still nurse.  Frequently.  You put your little hands up, one on each of my cheeks and you pull my face close to yours.  Your nose touches mine and you whisper softly, “Milk, mommy, milk.”  My heart melts.

I am so very thankful to have you in my life.  You breathe your sweet energy into my soul and my heart is literally filled with joy.  I love you sweet one!

Love, Mommy

I’ve been spoiled today.  Handmade cards, a DVD made by the kids about how I’m the best mom and a box of Godivas.  I was told to enjoy the day, that I deserve it.  I’ve been told I’m amazing and pretty and loving and that all the things I work so hard to do have not gone unnoticed.  While I’ve enjoyed all the special attention and sincere compliments, I am nothing more than a sum total of many greater parts and to end the day without acknowledging those greater parts just feels wrong.

Before I had kids, I truly thought I knew how to be a mom.  After all, I had some of the greatest moms in my life, paving a path before me, showing me by pure example how to do the toughest job on earth.  Surely that had to count for something.

I grew up with a mom that could only be described as amazing.  She was patient and loving and kind.  She listened and grew right alongside of me.  She showed me how to build a child up, careful to never tear down the trust that laid the foundation.  I treated my baby dolls exactly the way she treated me.  I memorized the art of her mothering and committed her kind deeds to the depths of my heart so that I could someday recall those moments when I began a journey of my own as a mother.

I spent a summer with my cousin, Ann, and her sweet one year old and I learned all about attachment parenting.  I saw firsthand the bonding effects of nursing and co-sleeping and baby wearing.  I left knowing that if I ever became a mom, I wanted to mother just like her.

Then I had my first baby.  And my entire world shifted.  I realized that watching isn’t the same as doing.  All those years of watching my mom and my cousin had not transferred a mystical mothering magic to me.  I had to forge my own way…just as every single mom throughout all of history has had to do.  Nothing prepared me for the sheer weight of the responsibilities of motherhood.  Nothing prepared me for the way my soul would suddenly become so vulnerable at the sight of a 6 pound baby.  Nothing prepared me for the shift in my life as I learned what dying to self truly met.

Joseph taught me how to be a mom.  He taught me how to sing through my tears as I struggled with a lack of sleep and a demanding baby.  He taught me how to coo and shush and rock and calm.  He taught me to slow down.  To be present in each and every moment.  To snuggle long and sweet because these days pass so quickly.  I learned the power of prayer and the comfort of turning my thoughts and anxiety towards a Heavenly Father who knows the pain and joy of parenting.  Joseph taught me how to see myself for what I truly am as our faults are suddenly magnified when seen through the eyes of a child.  He taught me that each of us has the capability to change when we desire it enough.  And I wanted to be a better person for that sweet little person and so I began the uphill climb.  Some days it’s tough, some days I slip back down the hill (I still lose my temper, I still see the ugly side of myself often) but each day I look into those big innocent eyes of his and know that the struggle to change is so worth it.

Before I knew it, a second baby was on his way and soon we welcomed our little William into the world.  And I learned to juggle.  I learned to hold a baby and a toddler’s hand all while pushing a cart and juggling my purse.  I learned to savor each quiet moment as the quiet moments seemed fewer and further between.  I learned to savor nighttime nursings with a new appreciation as they were sometimes the only moments I had to just stare at the growing baby in my arms.  I watched William and Joseph play and grow and bond and I was reminded of the beauty of siblings.  I learned that thankfulness to our Creator runs deep as each new day I found something new to be grateful for.

Soon our family grew again.  Andrew arrived.  Suddenly the number of kids outnumbered my hands…there were literally more hands to hold than I had to hold them with.  And so I learned to trust.  In my mothering ability and my children.  I learned that I could let go of of the big kids just a little, while holding tight to the little ones and the world was still right.  I learned to let go of a little control.  And while it felt like my world was spiraling out of control at times, ironically I learned balance.  I learned to savor the peaceful moments.  I learned to appreciate each moment for the glory it held…even if it was sometimes raw and emotional and soul-wrenching.  I learned that each moment is meant to glorify Him, if we allow it.  And so I learned to give Him my moments and to trust that my journey was serving a higher purpose.

Before we knew it, Katelyn joined our family.  And I learned that, despite my thought that I could not be stretched or pushed any further, none of my limits had been met.  I learned that the human heart has the amazing ability to grow and expand and just when you think you can not possibly have enough left in you to love another vulnerable being, you can.  I learned to let go a little more all while holding a little tighter to each of their hearts.  I learned that no child fits the previous one’s mold and that there’s always room for another at the banquet of sibling bonding.  I learned that life is beautiful…even when it feels overwhelming and exhausting and utterly depleting.  I learned that peace only comes from Him and only when we fall on our knees in prayer and thanksgiving will we reap the rewards promised by Saint Paul “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.  Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”  (Phil 4:4-7).

I’m still climbing the hill, growing a little each day.  I’m still learning to trust and to let go.  I’m still leaning heavily on the mothers in my life who showed me how to be a mother.  I’m still falling on my knees, asking the Lord for strength and guidance and grace.  Lots and lots of grace.  This mothering journey is a long one.  But I’m only the mother I am today because of the little people in my life and the women who marked the path for me.

As I fall asleep tonight, surrounded by little arms and little legs and fingers curled around mine, my final thought will be to turn my heart towards God in prayer and petition to ask for the grace to be the mother I’m intended to be, to guide my children to a higher purpose and, in thanksgiving, I will thank Him with my entire heart and soul for the blessing He’s given me and for this amazing gift of motherhood.