Sometimes it feels like marriage gets lost amid the kids. Its easy to forget that the whole reason for the incessant demands and chaos is rooted in love. And it is. Truly rooted.

Daxson and I fell in love almost 13 years ago. We were married within a year. We spent our first four years trying to figure out how this whole marriage thing works and then we were blessed with our first child. Then, like clockwork,  we welcomed another bundle of joy every two years. We have 4 beautiful children who are complete reflections of the two of us. It is crazy. Every day. And somedays it feels like all Dax and I have time for is to share a smile over little sleeping heads at the end of each day, as we ourselves, drift off to sleep,  exhausted at these little years.

Marriage isn’t like falling in love. Marriage requires effort. Renewal. Commitment.  Reminders of all that is good. Marriage requires a constant hum to remind ourselves how incredibly beautiful the sacrament truly is. It needs a mantra. Marriage is hard, oh but marriage, when rooted in God, is always good. Not easy,  but most certainly good.

Dax is my right hand man, my best friend and my sweet and thoughtful lover. But sometimes I forget. I get caught up in the daily grind…the laundry, the cooking,  the schooling and Dax and I literally throw one another a kiss in passing. Some days it feels like we just butt heads…disagreeing over the trivial things that all couples and all parents face. Other days are a steady calm as we just keep this whole crazy family afloat. And then there are days like today when i am sweetly nudged  and reminded of how beautiful marriage is and I fall in love all over again and I know that I am truly the luckiest girl alive. And I bask in that knowledge. I soak it up like a woman dying of thirst because the cycle will begin again…the crazy daily family life.  Its inevitable…life doesn’t stop for marriage…the trick is to hold it in my hand and renew those falling in love moments whenever I can, no matter how small the moment might seem, to just grab it and hold on tight so that when I am serving his dinner on one of those crazy chaotic days, I can  steal a glance at him and remember that he is my root. My stronghold. My love. My life. Because as my wise mother once said, “your kids are only yours for a brief moment but your husband…your husband is yours forever.”

So to my forever husband, I fell in love all over again today over a bubble bath. A hot, candlelit bath drawn especially for me because you love me.  But it wasn’t the bath I fell in love with…it was you. Your strong hands and determined spirit.  Your gentle almost reverent way of treating Katie. Your rough and tumble attitude toward our boys. That is what I saw when I looked at that bubble bath. It just took a bath to get me to slow down and see all those things.   Really, it just doesn’t get better than this…that feeling of falling in love all over again. Tomorrow, I have no doubt, will be back to the crazy, lovely, insanity but for this one moment, I am remembering everything good about this marriage and I am so thankful that it’s you on this journey with me. So until our next falling in love moment, please hold tight to this one and know how very much i am still in love with you.

So I’m not going to get this story exactly right.  I’m just not.  Time has a funny way of distorting the details and the truth is, back then I was so busy living that I wasn’t really into recording the details.  Little did I know that my future would be built on those little details.  Just know that this story is accurate, for the most part.  Truthfully, I’m not even sure where exactly to start because it seems like there were multiple threads of my life that would eventually intertwine.

To set the stage and give a few minor details…It was the spring of 2002.  I was a senior at the university with just a few summer sessions to go before graduation.  I had an auditing class at 8 in the morning.  I had a tax class at 5:45 in the afternoon, with a guy that I thought was a handsome, foreign tennis player, which it turned out he was not…oh, he was handsome but he was neither foreign (although he was born in Ecuador) or a tennis player (unless you count high school).  I was a member of something…some club…and I was responsible for selling raffle tickets.  One of my closest friends was Bart, a naval pilot.  Now, sit back and let me weave those details together for a delightful story.

“Bart, I have to sell these raffle tickets.  Please, oh please, won’t you buy a few?”  I begged my friend as we sat eating enchiladas at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

“What are the prizes?” he asked as he scooped up another bite.

“Lavrumgph,” I muttered, my mouth full.

“What?”  Bart just stared at me.

I did not want to repeat myself.  The prizes included nothing Bart was going to want…a trip to Beaumont, a pampering basket full of goodies that I would love (but he would not!) and the top prize was a basket with a bunch of girlie stuff including a lamp with a lavender lamp shade.  I had already spent the morning convincing Dad to buy some tickets and the tickets weren’t cheap, which was making it twice as hard to sell.    I still had 20 tickets to sell and being a college student, I didn’t have any extra cash to buy them myself.  I had to sell them.

“Please, Bart.  Don’t think about the prizes…just think about how you’ll be supporting a university sponsored club.”

“How many tickets do you have left?”

“20.”

“Okay, I’ll buy them.”

“Great!  Wait…what?  All of them?”  This was Bart, after all.  There had to be a catch.  I looked over to see his devious grin…yep, there was a catch.

“For every ticket I buy, you have to set me up with one of your friends.”

“Seriously, Bart, I don’t even have 20 friends.”

“If you want me to buy them, that’s the condition.”

I was desperate.  Surely I could round up 20 friends, or at least 20 girls…or maybe after a few dates, he’d let me off the hook.  I was willing to take the risk.  I reached across the table and shook his outstretched hand.  “Okay.  It’s a deal.”

Meanwhile, in the midst of the raffle ticket sale, I was sleeping through every single one of my auditing classes.  You know, that 8:00 in the morning class.  I tried everything to stay awake.  I took a breakfast taco to class.  I tried doodling.  I took my auditing book to read.  No matter what I did, my professor’s voice was a like a sedative.  30 minutes into his lecture and I had drool running down the side of my mouth.  Unfortunately for me there were only 8 of us in the class so he definitely noticed the one sleeping student.  I was falling behind.  Not because I couldn’t keep up with the work…I can read a textbook with the best of them, but there were little things he was lecturing about that I wasn’t getting.  And I knew no one in the class.  But I did know someone who was taking the same class at a different time.

Enter Daxson.

Dreamy, groovy Daxson.  Boy wonder.

Every Tuesday and Thursday I had a tax class at 5:45.  I’d be sitting there, putting my last minute answers on my assignment and in would walk handsome, dreamy Daxson.  Always just on time.  Always prepared.  Always ready with the right answer.  For some reason, I was convinced that he was a foreign, tennis player (I ruled out foreign after listening to him talk, though).  He sat two rows in front of me and a girl named Regina sat between us.  Daxson talked to Regina and I talked to Regina, but it seemed that the conversation never involved all three of us.  I just needed one excuse to talk to Daxson.

Finally, the day came.  Our professor put us into groups and guess who was in my group?!  Yep, Daxson.  So I might not have told him the part about sleeping in class, but I did tell him that I needed a little help in auditing.  And he offered to help.

We started meeting at the library.  He helped with auditing while I stared into his dreamy eyes trying to figure out how to get him to stop talking about auditing.  So I made up an event.  Something to invite him to.

“Hey, a group of us are going to Bennigans for dinner on Thursday.  You should totally come.”  I rested my chin on my hand as I waited for his response.

“Yeah?  That sounds fun.”  Perfect.  Now to gather, what did I say, oh yes, “a group of us”.  I started inviting everyone…it had to look like a legitimate group get together, right?  Oh and a quick trip to Target for a new jean skirt, a cute top, and some sandals.

Back to Bart…remember, I sold Bart the 20 tickets.  Well he didn’t forget my end of the deal.  20 tickets in exchange for 20 dates. I set him up on some dates.  Other times we went out together and I’d introduce him to my friends.  He had a complaint about every.single.one.of.them.

“Bart, I’m running out of friends.  Stop being so picky.”  I nagged one afternoon.

“Don’t let me down…we made a deal.  A deal in which I’m supposed to meet 20 of your friends.  You owe me…plus the fact that I won that ridiculous lavender lamp shade.  Seriously, who thought that should be the first place prize?”

I really was running out of female friends.  There was one left.  My friend Crystal.  She and I had met in a class and we had become friends…the kind of friends that are friendly in class and get together every now and again for coffee and studying.  She was super sweet, but so not Bart’s type.  She was sweet and pretty and very down to earth.  I really didn’t want to drag her into this, but I was running out of options and of course, when I invited Bart to Bennigans, he asked who the lucky candidate would be that night.  I caught up with Crystal after class.  “Hey Crystal, what are you up to on Thursday night?”

She eyed me suspiciously.  “Nothing too much.  I’m studying for finals.  Why?”

“A group of us are getting together and going to dinner at Bennigans.  I thought you might want to join us.”

“And…What are you leaving out?”  (I guess our friendship was well established enough that she noticed that I was hesitating.)

“Okay, fine.  I have a really close friend.  He’s awesome and I wanted to introduce the two of you.”

“A blind date?  No thanks.”

“No, no…it’s not a blind date.  Really.  Totally casual.  It’ll be a huge group and I’ll just introduce you to him.  You don’t have to hang out all night.  Just please come meet him.”

“Tell me about him.”

“Well…let’s see…he’s a naval pilot…”

“A pilot?  Good grief!  How old is he?”

“Not THAT old.  And he’s smart and funny and cute…”

“How old is he exactly?”  She asked again and stared at me, waiting for an answer.

“Please,” I was seriously begging at this point.  “He’s 30.  But it’ll be fun.  And I promise.  He’s a really cool guy.”

“No, that’s way too old for me!”

“Okay, fine, the truth is, I’m trying to get a group together because I needed an excuse to invite this guy in my tax class out.  Do you know who Daxson is?”  I paused long enough for her to nod.  “I need people there!  Please!  My sister and her husband will be there along with Monica and Justin and Richard and a whole bunch of other people.  It’ll be great…you’ve got to eat and take a break from all that studying and I promise Bart will keep you entertained.”  I do not have puppy dog eyes to make myself look sad and endearing, but I tried my best.

“Okay, I guess I can stop by.”

And she did.  And there was Bart, with all his charming wit and she fell madly in love.  Bart swears she walked in with her cream colored sleeveless top and her “Jesus shoes” and a halo over her head.  I accidentally seated the two of them at the end of the table between Andy (who thought Crystal was available) and Kathryn (who thought Bart was there for her delight).  Bart spent the evening cutting both Andy and Kathryn off, making it clear they weren’t welcome in the conversation.  Finally, fed up with their interference, Bart asked Crystal if she wanted to go get a fruit cup (c’mon Bart, I introduce you to your dream girl and you invite her for a fruit cup…seriously?!)  They left together.  I didn’t hear from Bart until late the next day (in fact, I was in a panic because I called him at work in the morning to find out how it went and he wasn’t there…Bart NEVER missed work…I guess staying out late, chatting over a fruit cup and then having to part from your one true love can cause you to oversleep!) and it was only to tell me that I was off the hook…he’d found THE ONE and I could finally stop setting him up on dates.

And that was the beginning of Daxson and me, as well.  The next week Daxson invited me with a group of his friends to Concan and I figured if we were going on a trip together, I’d better get to know him better.  So we spent as much time studying auditing as possible and then he made a bet with me…loser had to pay for dinner…pretty sure the bet had to do with the auditing exam but either way, the bet made dinner with him a sure thing so, of course, I took the bet.  No idea who won because, the truth is, he was way too much of a gentleman to let me pay anyways.  So our first official date (just the two of us!) was to dinner at Macaroni Grill and to see a movie.  We went down to the seawall after the movie for a walk and by the end of the night, I just knew.  This was it.

So two weddings later (mine and Daxson’s first…exactly one year and two days after our first date, which was exactly 5 days after the Bennigans gathering…Bart & Crystal’s wedding followed ours by 6 months) there are now seven beautiful children between the four of us.  And to think, it all started with that dinner at Bennigans.  This is the stuff that Hollywood makes movies out of.  Here’s to good friends, beautiful Bennigan love stories, and each of our happily ever afters.

 

 

I’m just going to say it.  I don’t know how the people in the North do it.  And when I say the North, I mean anything north of San Antonio.  After what feels like an eternity (which I think might realistically be more like 3 or 4 weeks) of cold weather (and by cold weather I mean in the 40s and 50s), we were finally able to get outside and enjoy the weather.  The operative word being enjoy, as we’ve still been spending time outdoors…it’s just that our time has been marked by lots of whining and complaining…geez, putting this in print is seriously shameful…we are such cold weather wimps!  Now that the sun has resurfaced and the temperatures have been in the mid to high 60s, we have literally spent the last five days outside from morning to evening, soaking up every ray of sun possible, enjoying our lessons on a picnic blanket, eating meals and snacks in the great outdoors.  Yesterday we even made it out to the Bike Trail.  To all you Northerners, I am sorry that winter is there, but I am so thankful for our beautiful, sunny, warm days (don’t worry…when you’re enjoying your beautiful spring and summer days, I’ll be griping about the stifling, humid heat, but for now…oh for now, I will enjoy this taste of spring).

I had this post ready to go on December 25th.  I “scheduled” it to post.  Or so I thought.  I must have forgotten to press the “ok” button.  So while this is very belated, our holiday wishes for you still ring true.  So here’s wishing you a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

When I first sat down to write this, I began with the intention of briefly describing our year’s highlights…you know all milestones of the year: Joseph’s First Communion, Katie’s 1^st birthday, the bathroom remodel. But as I began to write, I realized that sharing those big moments wouldn’t actually give you a fair peek into our past year. Those big events, those milestones, aren’t the tiny threads that make up our daily lives.

The vast majority of our days in 2014 were completely uneventful. We woke up, ate breakfast together, went about our homeschooling day, reconvened for lunch, spent our afternoons basking in sunshine and imagination, gathered together for dinner where we shared our best and worst moments of the day, and then settled in for stories and snuggling as each little person drifted off to sleep, safe, snug, and warm. Our days were marked more by the dailiness of our lives than by anything truly remarkable, yet as I sit here and look at each of my children, I see remarkable changes left in them by all that dailiness.

Joseph, now 7, is long and lanky, a mix of permanent and baby teeth. Somewhere along the way, he’s become responsible: picking up toys without being asked, clearing his dishes, and helping his younger siblings. He’s bright and funny and extremely clever. He finds life to be full of adventure and he laughs til it hurts. He loves reading and writing and his stories are full of imagination and humor.

William turned 5 in April. Officially school age now, he eagerly anticipates a day at school. He excels in math and science and he is always trying his best to reason things out. He’s inquisitive, thoughtful, and extremely sweet. His afternoons are spent searching for rocks, climbing trees and planting every seed he can get his hands on.

Andrew, our trying 3 year old…he’s rambunctious, clever, and 100% boy. He joins his brothers at school in the mornings and then spends his time, barefoot, outdoors. His imagination is as big as our Lone Star state. While he may be busy digging in the dirt and riding his John Deere tractor, he’s ever watchful of his little sister. Just last week, he was caught trying to wake her up from her nap with “true love’s kiss.” He is joyful and expressive and ever so friendly.

And then there’s sweet little Katelyn, described perfectly by Shakespeare, “Though she be but little, she be fierce.” Katelyn has learned to stand her ground in a family of brothers. What she lacks in size, she makes up for in voice. She spent the first year of her life playing with dinosaurs and cars and then she met Dolly. Now you can find her chasing her brothers, sword in hand, with Dolly tucked safely under her arm. She’s spunky and loud, yet soft and sweet. And very much doted upon by her big brothers.

As for Daxson and me, another year of parenting has certainly had its effect on us, softening us around the edges, teaching us patience in the midst of chaos and helping us to focus on the little things that are truly important. Daxson continues to enjoy his job as a realtor and I look forward to each new day, teaching and learning alongside my children. We’ve chosen this life of dailiness and we are ever so thankful for the multitude of blessings this life bestows upon us.

Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!